LOGAN AT 4 MONTHS

Everytime I look at Logan these days, she reminds me of a little baby bear. It makes me laugh and she is always smiling and laughing back. I love making her smile, it feels like an addiction.

I'm savoring all the babyness of her - the tiny hands, the smell, the baby chub and the way she feels in my arms. I love that she is gaining heft and getting stronger, like she wants to sit up all time and can do it by herself sometimes, and I'm so proud and happy but there's also a little voice in the back of my head that says, "it's going by too fast" and I hang on to that moment of beholding her with all of my awareness so I can slow it down and appreciate it with every cell of my body.

There are days when it's really hard to leave Logan at daycare and walk away. But I tell myself that even though it sucks sometimes, it helps me appreciate her all the more in the hours I have with her in the mornings and evenings. I'm trying to teach her how to sleep continuously through the night but for now she is still waking up wanting to nurse and even though it's hard because of how tired I am, I even appreciate those times because it allows me more bonding time with her. She probably feels the same. 

That hair! It's getting longer but it's slowly starting to fall down. No more electrocuted baby hair, which is a little sad. Sloane loves rubbing her face through it, as if her hairs are soft feathers that you are meant to brush over your face. 

Sometimes she has these facial expressions that Ken and I die over. Kind of like this one, where it's as if she is a much older person giving us a "hey there" expression with a tiny baby face. It's the best.

Everyday, I feel extremely lucky to have her in our lives. When I hold both Logan and Sloane in my arms, I feel like the most fortunate and wealthy person in the world. 

Here is a little video clip of Logan laughing with Ken, he can always make her smile and talk. Sloane is saying "kiss her" here because Ken does this thing where he smothers Logan's cheeks and neck with kisses and it makes her giggle hysterically. Sloane loves seeing that.