MORE PHOTOS FROM THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL

I am feeling mentally and emotionally exhausted today. Maybe being anxious about this week wore me out. Also, it's obviously not summer anymore and my body deflates at this change. It happens each year despite my resolve and pep talk - it seems to be a physical reaction that automatically happens when the weather changes. I AM excited about fall; it's a great season, there are so many lovely smells that happen in these months, I love crispy air and blue skies, and it holds one of my favorite activities ever - apple picking! But my body also knows it means colder weather is very near, and things within me wilt at the prospect. I feel, like I do every year, that I may not make it through the winter. 

Sloane, on the other hand, is very excited about this upcoming year. She said she had a great day yesterday (yes, Ken and I asked her a million questions. She politely requested that going forward she be asked only one set of a million questions, rather than have to recount her day two separate times) and she was ready for more today. Her being in school now is going to make fall seem even more like a new year, a new beginning. But this new year I don't have resolutions or even a to-do list. I just want to be. One way of saying it could be that I just want to survive, but the optimistic viewpoint would be that I want to simply be still and in the moment, every day. That's all I ask of myself these days.

I posted a video of Sloane's first day yesterday (and I have teared up each time I re-watch it) and I'm sharing some photos here of the same morning. I am SO proud of how she handled all of the new things she encountered on her first day.  She was so excited and happy when I picked her up from after school care, gave me a detailed account of her whole day, fell asleep on the way to pick up Logan from her daycare, woke up again for dinner and to tell Ken about her day again, then went around to our neighbors with Ken to invite them over for roasting marshmallows over the fire pit, pranced around with neighborhood kids, helped Logan roast her first marshmallow, and fell asleep quickly when we finally got her into bed.  I am relieved we got through that first day, but there is still so much unknown and anxiety-inducing about this transition; I am grateful for the way we are asked to take things one day at a time, because that's how I'm planning on navigating through this.