GUMPTION, DON'T FAIL ME NOW

I'm going to be super honest and just say: I'm in some dark days. 

This has always been the case for me during the colder months. Its much harder to do life, enthusiasm for things ramp down and I am only about 50% myself; where the other 50% goes, I'm not sure. This year feels little harder than the past few years and it is what it is, but seriously, can I just call it in and sleep off the next three months? 

It's not just the cold, it's the darkness. I feel like there are weights upon my head and shoulders and it is exhausting having to go from one thing to another. I don't feel sad, but it's a depression in the specific sense that there is a negative pressure all over me that is heavy. 

If there is a bright side, it's that I'm witnessing tiny miracles everyday. Because everyday, I'm positive that I absolutely cannot do the day. I'm sure I can't possible get to work, but then I find myself. I don't feel like I can make it through the day, but I do. I'm not sure how it is possible to get x, y, and z done after I get home, but somehow it happens. 

I believe in miracles. 

We went up to DC this past weekend and admittedly it was much harder than it usually is. We were deliberating canceling the whole trip altogether, and even after we made it up there I had to give myself lots of pep talks to get to the next thing. But at the end of the weekend, I was proud of myself for having gotten to do the things we had planned, and it was wonderful to have that concentrated time with Ken and Sloane that I don't get enough of during the week. 

While we were there, got to go to the Emporiyum event which was a huge affair where artisanal vendors from all over the country came to display, sample out and sell their goods. We went to Union Market for shopping and food that same afternoon, and then went to a basketball game that night to watch the Wizard's win. The next day we had brunch with my sister, and then I took a ramen class (yes a class about making ramen!), followed by lunch with friends. 

I love being at home with my family (especially so these days), but these adventures together forge bonding experiences that is good for everyone's character and need for exploration. Plus, how lucky we are to get see friends and family while we were there, and that's always worth the extra gumption. 

I'll end here with a photo of my husband (taken while Sloane napped in the stroller nearby) who sees me at my most exhausted and crankiest but is also there to see me trying to be better at life, there to breathe a sigh of relief with when we make it to the end of the day, and has been doing the thing where he asks how he can help, and means it. He is wonderful.