LOW COUNTRY BOIL

Happy Friday! Truly. Happy day.

We are going to take a trip to the beach this weekend, and hopefully fit in a day trip to the Outer Banks. I'm looking forward to showing Sloane and Logan where Ken and I got married, saying hello to the beach, and seeing the sand dunes.

Before we go, I'm going to share these photos of last weekend, when we got together at our friend's place for a low country boil. I love these types of gatherings around food and drink, and this night was special because we made it an adult-only event and got to hang out and have fun (uninterrupted!) conversations.

Some personal notes:
1. Always include garlic. When it is cooked and soft, you can smoosh it over a slab of butter and put it on top of everything and anything before inserting into mouth. Good move, Autumn, good move.
2. Whiskey sours is this meal's soul mate. So is Garrett's home brewed saison. 
3. Eating with your hands is a must. Licking your fingers is perfectly acceptable. 

WHAT I'M READING V. 28

Elon Musk: Tesla, SpaceX, and the Quest for a fantastic future | By Ashlee Vance

I spotted my manager with this book one day and asked her about it. She said it was a great journalistic insight into a  remarkable man who has achieved so much over his life. I was intrigued and put it on my holds list at the library. It's a long book, but it truly was a fascinating read.  I only knew the headline version of who Elon Musk is, but this writer was able to get in-depth interviews with Elon Musk, his family, and the people who work with him, to explain who he is in a thorough and interesting way.  He was able to master difficult physics concepts within business plans, and he had this unique ability to perceive a path from scientific advancement directly into a for-profit enterprise. People like Elon Musk who are not only smart and passionate, but also driven and have the ability to execute their vision, are inspiring for me. It also reminds me again that if you are going to be that successful, that there may be touch of eccentricity, and that often things like family are sacrificed for the sake of achieving these goals.  You have to have a sort of obsession to accomplish the things that he has, and the world has seen amazing things because of his obsession.

Mere Motherhood: Morning Times, Nursery Rhymes, & My Journey Toward Sanctification | By Cindy Rollins

I read this entire book while I was away at the Ladies Weekend a month ago. I asked my friend Laura if she could bring her copy for me to read, and I gobbled up the whole thing over a few sittings.  Cindy Rollins is a homeschooler (she has nine kids!) who I have heard often on the Circe Network through the Mason Jar podcast, talking about the Charlotte Mason homeschool method. This was her very candid account of how she first learned of homeschooling and her experiences through raising her children in this way. I found several parts to be humorous; she doesn't spare herself the embarrassing details and there was much in there that I found helpful and encouraging. I'm not a homeschooling mom, but I embrace the intentionality of the homeschool mindset, the belief that education of a child is found in every aspect of our lives, and especially the part about inspiring children through reading. An extra bonus was that when I finished this book, I was able to talk about it with friends who had also read this book and were away with me at the Ladies Weekend!

Run by Ann Patchett

It is beautifully written - no surprise there - but the story didn't ring true for me like her stories usually do. The characters seemed more like caricatures or a symbolic representation, and not like real people. It was almost distracting, because I kept wondering what she was up to, rather than being swept along by the emotions and turns of the story. If you love Ann Patchett, it's worth reading to observe more of her writing style and ability, but if you don't care either way, I wouldn't recommend this one.

Finding God in the Waves: How I Lost My Faith and Found it Again through Science | By Mike McHargue

I first heard about this book from The Liturgist Podcast. Mike McHague, also known as Science Mike, is one of the hosts of that podcast and when he mentioned this book, I got the waiting list for it months ago.  I really appreciated the honest way he lays out his story, including all the questions, insecurities, and self-doubt he had, along with his God-doubt. There were some parts in the latter half of the book where he describes where he has currently landed with his faith that had me scratching my head a little bit, but the way he presented the whole of his faith journey - the ugly along with the good - that I think is valuable for anyone who has struggled with their faith (which I think should be everyone at some point in their lives).  Since I have heard several episodes of The Liturgist Podcast, there wasn't anything new or surprising, but I enjoyed hearing him have the time and space to tell the whole of his story in this format.

A FRIDAY AFTER WORK

I'm going to be honest. It's been hard these days to feel like I'm doing a good job of being a working mom. It's a lot of things, but mostly it is that my heart and mind are constantly with the kids due to all these changes, and I want large chunks of time to establish family rhythm together without the rush of school and work.

I do want to work, I need to work because of my student loans, and luckily I do like working, but when you have young kids - even if you really like working - you are constantly assessing the effect of time away from your kids. I have been a full-time working mom for five years now, and I can attest that some seasons are better than others. This season here now feels a little harder because of the transitions.  I recently read a great blog post by a mom (who homeschools) about her daily rhythm, and while it was helpful, it also made me feel envious of all that time they have that is all of their own.  I know that homeschooling life comes with a whole set of other challenges that are different, and usually I am grateful for the challenges that are my own, but these days that grass looks greener and shinier.  I took a stab at writing down what our family's weekdays look like and came up with this:

6:00 AM | MORNING

On the weekdays, the alarm is set for 6:00 AM. On a good day, I actually wake up at 6:00. On other days, I wake up at 6:15. Ideally, I would wake up an hour earlier. Some days, the girls pad into our room and climb into bed for a couple of minutes of snuggling (Sloane snuggling and Logan sitting on top of me yelling, "Eat! Eat!"). Other days, we go into their room to wake them up with kisses. Usually, I start getting ready while Ken helps Sloane and Logan get dressed and washed up. While they are finishing up, I go down to the kitchen to start breakfast. Hopefully, I've already packed lunch and snacks the night before, and then it's breakfast on the table by 6:45, while Ken takes his turn getting ready (he usually doesn't eat breakfast, or grabs it to go). I try to make sure breakfast starts by 6:45 so that we can have time to take a deep breath and I can have time with the girls before we start the day; I hate having to rush them in the mornings. We are out the door by 7:15 so that Sloane can catch the bus by 7:20, and then Ken goes to work and I leave to drop Logan at her daycare before getting into work by between 8:00 and 8:15.

5:00 PM | EVENING

I leave work around 5:00 to go pick Logan up first, and then go get Sloane at her after school care. It is around 6:00 PM when we get home, and I am immediately getting dinner on the table while catching up with the girls. Ken doesn't get home until 7:00 PM or after, so on the days I go to Crossfit, I have to get dinner on the table, make sure the girls eat, eat myself, and then change into gym clothes to be out the door by 7:00 PM.  If I go to Crossfit, I get back home by 9:00 PM, the girls are already in bed so I sneak in there to give them kisses, shower, and then try to get the dishes done, pack lunches for the next day, and do a little tidying. Ken and I also try to spend some time catching up at the end of the day together. Even if this is all I do, it is a good and rare night if I get to bed around 10:00 PM before I have to start it all over again the next day.  This is why it is difficult to go to Crossfit as much as I would like to; even though I love it when I do get to go, it gives me barely any time with the girls during the week. If I don't go to Crossfit or go to some other event that occasionally comes up during the weekday, I can take things slow and enjoy the girls from about 6:00 to 7:30PM. I love having this time with them. 7:30 is when we start getting them ready for bed.  After they are washed up and tucked in, we read a couple of books, sing a few songs, talk about our day and snuggle in bed. Ideally, they are down by 8:00, but sometimes we have stragglers who wander out for a cup of water, an itchy foot, or an extra hug. On these nights, after the girls are down, I may do some meal prep that I wasn't able to get done during the weekend, clean up the kitchen, catch up on emails, do some blog prep, write, edit photos, put in some time on things I'm working on these days, or work on the podcast with Ken.

There it is. Some days it feels fine, and other days it feels like I am trapped on a hamster wheel. In order to avoid the latter, I have been practicing the habit of holding on to certain moments and slowing them down. Like when we are done with dinner and Sloane is telling me about her day, I like being able to hold her and give her my full attention. Even if it just for 10 minutes, if I am fully present and attentive, it feels like I am slowing things down and the time spent feels longer than if I am rushed or half-way present. Or if it is obvious Logan needs to be held a little more that day, I like to be able to just sit on the sofa and hold her for 5 minutes without any other agenda and just be there with her. We both get the most out of it that way. 

I should also say, things that are also part of this daily weekday rhythm are: 1) the time that I have in the car with the girls to talk about the day, discuss questions they have, and listen to music together; 2) once in a while, I will be able to wake up earlier than the alarm clock and it is nice to have that quiet time at the beginning of the day. My goal is always to get back to the habit of this, which means sleeping earlier; 3) Ken and I have decided we will try to keep Wednesdays as free as possible - free from other commitments, and with Ken coming home earlier, so that we can do things like eat dinner together and play outside together. It is nice to have that to look forward to in the middle of the week; 4) trying to get a lot of things out of the way on the weekends, like meal prep, and laundry if we are lucky, to make it a little easier on us during the week; 5) Ken and I communicate a lot during the day, mostly through text, but it makes us feel connected to each other throughout the day.

Our rhythm during the weekends are obviously vastly different…which is why I love weekends so much!  Because of the difference in pace during the weekend, I revel in it:  the luxury of one moment stretching into the next, being with the girls as much as possible, being at home or going out on adventures, and the space to fit in small tasks here and there.

I'm trying to regard these two different rhythms - the weekday versus the weekend - as both important and crucial to our life. I tell myself one needs the other, and there is a balance that can be tweaked out and practiced here in a way that will truly be beneficial for us.

I took these photos while I was getting dinner prepped on Friday after work. Ken had gotten off work earlier and went to go pick Sloane off so that they can go grocery shopping together, so I only had to pick up Logan and then we came home and it was just us (and Rusty) taking our time heating up the food and waiting for Ken and Sloane. 

Logan took this one. 

And this one. ("Look mom! I took a picture of Rusty!")

I thought we would be able to fit in a picnic for dinner on Friday but we couldnt make it work so we had a clean-out-the-fridge-and-eat-on-the-porch dinner. Roasted carrots and pesto chicken pasta.

When Sloane got home she was bubbling with energy and the girls were so happy to see each other. While they ate, Sloane asked Logan about her day, very much in the same manner and cadence that Ken and I had been grilling Sloane about her first week at Kindergarten.