MOTHER'S DAY 2018

i have a video that i took of this day at the beach from a few weeks ago, and when i'm feeling overwhelmed (which has been more than a few times recently) i like to watch it and let it soothe me back to calm.  these photos here in this post if from that time and looking through them resonate peace too.

we were in virginia beach for mother's day weekend, and on that sunday, we went out to the beach in the morning  with a breakfast picnic and no real agenda except to relax and lay by the sea. it was wonderful. until it started getting cold, and still we held on, huddled under blankets and the girls insisting they weren't cold at all (and logan peeing in a hole we dug for her!) until we really couldn't stand it anymore.

you guys, these past few weeks (month?), little things that usually aren't so hard, has felt hard.  it mostly has to do with the fact that work has been very very busy and i'm having a hard time mentally turning it off when i'm at home, and i'm unusually more tired than usual, and also i haven't exercised in a while...so all of that to say, it can make me a grumpy person - grumpy wife, grumpy mother.  and that in of itself feels so unlike me that it is exhausting.

this past weekend was memorial day weekend and that was a much needed and welcome break, and a house full of friends and kids was totally distracting where i couldn't think about work at all, and i could luxuriously focus on the simple things.  and then on monday, we took things slow and i soaked up the girls, and it was better. i felt refreshed.  it was a reminder that i must do a better job of balancing things and accepting the fact that - yet again - that i can't give 150% of myself to all things. one thing at a time, christine.

especially motherhood.  the girls need ME right now.  in my most simplest form. focused, steady, calm, single-minded.  and right now simplicity means keeping my bar low.  which means, getting down on their level and looking into their eyes when they talk to me.   which means, that my "success" as a mother is measured by the fact that i keep trying.

the girls quickly forgive, quickly run to me, honest and earnest, and absolutely believe that i am the best ever, no questions asked. (it won't always be like this!)  motherhood these days is sort of mirroring this sort of love - quick to forgive, quick to run towards, quick to tell speak truth and love unconditionally. 

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