Sometimes being a mother feels awesome! Sometimes being a mother makes me feel like a crumpled up piece of paper!
But geez. These kids are cute.
The other day, Sloane said something funny to make me laugh and I said "Oh Sloane, you surprise me sometimes." And she came right back with, "Mom, YOU surprise me sometimes, too."
Some things Sloane has said or done recently (4.5 years old):
"When Jesus was born in the manger, did the cow say, 'hey what are you doing in our food bowl?'"
"How do you "throw a party"? Like throw up in the air ?"
"Mom, do you have a teacher at work?"
"No, no teachers."
"...then who gives you your work?"
"What if the owners who have dogs all looked like their dogs? Like they had their dog's faces but were standing up?!"
One morning we were eating breakfast and very casually, she says, "Mom, at night when we are sleeping, everything that has a face comes alive. They move around. They stay in the same spot so that they don't lose their place but they dance and dance in the night." She said this so calmly and nonchalantly, it gave me goosebumps. Maybe this really DOES happen in the night!
"I wish I could get stronger than a dinosaur."
"Sloane, what do you want to be when you grow up?"
"Oh mom, all the things. Dancer, writer, singer, horse rider, firefighter...Oh! And a reader. I can't even pick one! If I can't pick one you have to pick for me, okay mom?"
She has been doing a lot of self-narrating, which tickles me to no end. As she runs down the stairs, I will hear her whisper to herself, "She ran down the stairs and got her shoes. Then, she put them on (as she puts on her shoes)...and then she ran back up the stairs and saw something scary! And she said, 'Oh no, I need my cape!...and ran into her room..." And so on, all in a loud whisper to herself.
"I have super powers! Pow!" (Punching the air with her fist.) "Oh noooo, it's out of battery."
I told Sloane at one point that I was tired because Logan kept waking up and she said "oh poor mommy."Then she hugged me, rubbed my back and then said "I know what will make you feel better!" and then ran out of the room. She came running back with my slippers and put them on my feet. Then she said, "mom I wish you could just not hear Logan crying... like I do. It's a special trick." (It's true, Sloane and Logan share a room and Sloane sleeps through even Logan's loudest and longest cries)
While in the car: " I see purple dots everywhere!" "Where??" I asked. "Mom, you have to use your imagination. I see them in the trees! I see them in the sky!"
She has been enlisting Logan into her imaginary play, to the great amusement of me and great delight of Logan. The other day, I observed as Sloane ushered Logan into the doctor's office (Sloane was the doctor) and proceeded to very carefully do a checkup on Logan. She had Logan sit on a chair, as she used various items around the kitchen - coasters, spoon, cards, spatula, confetti - as medical tools to examine Logan's feet, legs, knees, elbows, eyes, head, arm, fingers...a head to toe check up. I overheard her calling her tools the following things: "super duper camera" (x-ray), "eyeballer" (ophthalmoscope?) and "knee knocker" (plexor).
We had a issue last week where Sloane was whining a lot, and so I told her she couldn't do that anymore and that we needed to come up with a way for her to stop. After a few minutes of thinking, she said, "Mom, I have an idea. Maybe every morning when I wake up you can remind me to not whine." "Oh?" I said, surprised. "Should I say something like: 'Good morning Sloane! I just want to remind you to please try not to whine today'....like that?" "Yes!" she said enthusiastically, "and mom if you need to remember to do this, write it down so you won't forget to tell me every morning." (We have tried this for a week now, and surprisingly, it has been very successful. When I remind her in the morning, she responds with a cheerful, "okay mom.")
Another problem we had last week was with her wanting to wear particular things in the morning, some of which she couldn't find, or it wasn't weather appropriate, or it was being washed, etc., and then getting really upset about it. It was driving me crazy because it always happened in the mornings when we were in a rush and she would get emotional and then change her mind and the whole morning would get stressful. So we collectively decided we would get into the habit of picking out clothes together in the evening and putting it beside her bed at night. Now, she wakes up in the morning, and dresses herself from head to toe, unprompted. It's amazing.
"Mom! Come here! And use your super powers to wipe all my poop away !"
Logan these days is ferocious (19th months)! She is trying to copy everything we do, and this coming from a tiny rotund human who has the determination of a hungry lion, makes her the cutest thing I've ever seen.
Speaking of hunger, she has a big appetite and loves to eat (she asks to eat by saying "Eat? Eat?" as soon as she wakes up and sometimes even when she wakes up crying in the middle of the night) and is extremely interested in the possibility of food, but as I've explained to my parents, I think it's more of a voracious appetite for life in general that drives her. She loves wanting things and it's not just for food, it's for exploring, trying something new, mastering a task- she has this energy that feels very familiar to me (as a 7!)
That energy also means she is very expressive, will cry dramatically for a while for no apparent reason (which we have gotten used to), will run towards Rusty at full speed and pounce on him (which Rusty has gotten used to), will hang on to me with arms and legs wrapped around me tight (which I love).
She is adventurous and excited to use her body - she will climb on top of chairs and couches and will jump off with all her might, so you better be right there to catch her. This probably started happening because she saw Sloane doing it a few times, and she wants to try everything Sloane does. If we are trying to get Lola to do something she doesn't want to do, we ask Sloane to do it in front of her and then immediately Lola is on board.
I guess it's because she sees Sloane being so independent (and also because it is part of being a one and a half year old), but she wants to do things herself. When I try to help her put her shoes on, she pushes my hand away with a "no, no, no" and wants to put it on herself (which she can do now), or when I hold a spoon up to her mouth, she asks me to put the spoon down so she can pick it up herself.
One of my favorite things these days is how she will croon along to a song that we are singing - it is so passionate and earnest and she will scrunch up her face in concentration and emotion as she does so. Sloane is also very into dancing these days, so of course Logan tries to keep up.
In the car, Logan will start with "Mommy? Mommy? Mommy?" And then when I respond with "yes?" She will say, "hi.." and then I say hi back. Then again, "Mommy? Mommy?" "Yes?" "Hi..." over and over again. Then she will move on to "Daddy? Daddy?" And when my parents were here, their names. Often when Sloane is telling me something, Lola will break in with "Mommy!" And then pretend to tell me something too.
Some of her words these days include: "Mommy, daddy, unni (what she calls Sloane; it means 'older sister' in Korean), Rusty, apple, rice ('wice'), amen, more, please ('peas'), up, down, help, water (wah-dee), nooooooooo, yes (but she prefers 'no'), eat, hi, bye, sit, shoes, boots, hat, dog, book, eye, ear, ball, sun, wow, hug, uh-oh, owie (said in a squeaky shout, usually when I'm pulling her pigtails out), nainai, popo, (grandma and great grandma in Chinese), halmuhnee, halabuhjee (grandma and grandpa in Korean), etc. (Her pronounciation of Korean words is surprisingly very clear for a one and a half year old!)
She asks, "This?.... This?" pointing to different things around her to learn their names.
She has this side eye look that she gives me when she's being silly. I don't know where she gets it; it's this half mischievous, half comedian look that she pulls out once in a while and surprises me. She also has this way of kind of cry protesting about something she doesn't want, but she is holding back a smile while she's doing it. Her spirit is vivid!
I feel supremely fortunate these days.
