REFLECTIONS AND INTENTIONS

Currently...

Listening to: Oh Brother Where Art Thou soundtrack

Watching: Portlandia, Season 6 (always while washing the dishes!) 

Thinking about: Cutting back on sugar

Reading: Zodiac by Neal Stephenson 

Dream life: Somewhere warm, where I can walk around barefoot all the time

Eating: Clementines. A lot of clementines

Drinking: Traditional Medicinals Gypsy Cold Care (this is a miracle worker when you are sick)

I started writing down reflections and resolutions on this blog around the time my first daughter was born; I found it be a good way to mark time and a good opportunity to evaluate, give thanks, and look forward to what is to come. I went back into the archives and collected my reflections and resolutions from 2016, my recaps and resolutions from 2015, some thoughts from 2014, & my resolve for 2013. That's another reason to write these down, looking back at these reminds me of where I've been and where I am going. I'm going to continue this tradition! by looking back at 2016 and writing out my intentions for 2017.

A few highlights in 2016:
1. My friend Soonie got married and I got to attend and visit L.A.
2. My sister Sharon got married and we were all together in NYC.
3. We bought this house and did a lot of work on it.
4. Logan turned one and we celebrated her dohl.
5. Sloane turned four and we had a pool party.
6. We made trips to Virginia Beach.
7. We threw a lot of summer parties.
8. The Moon family lived with us for a couple of months and it was wonderful.

I've been thinking about how I evaluate whether a year has been a 'good' year. For me this can be measured by whether I have continued to grow roots and invest in the things that are noble and lovely, all the while holding on to these things loosely.  It's the balance between being faithful to what I have been given, while not expecting that the whole of those activities or relationships are what define my identity. All the achievements and failures of this past year are precious to me, but they are not another brick in a kingdom I am building for myself. It may seem a strange balance, but it works for me - to keep me both rooted and open at the same time. Other indicators that help evaluate this is thinking of whether my relationships have grown deeper, whether I have been reading, and whether I have been in the constant habit of repenting.

Not listed in the list of highlights above are the moments of feeling overwhelmed as a working mother of two, having good conversations with Ken after an argument, and feeling frustrated about not being able to consistently work on my fitness goals due to exhaustion. They also include moments of appreciating the fact that I am in my 30s, elation at Sloane and Logan beginning to play together, and being proud of the work that I do at my job. 

Intentions for 2017:
1. As always - read a lot, and write even more.
2. Be thrifty and live simply, in order to clear up mental space and in order to save money.
3. Make things, like songs and paintings.
4. Keep working towards snatch goal of 135 lb.
5. Work hard at my job and be proud of that hard work.
6. Read the whole bible again. Ken and I are going to do the CBR journal with our church and I am excited about it (pictured above).

When I look forward, I feel hopeful simply in the possibility of another year. What richness it is to have another 365 days! What a luxury to imagine so many days of seeing my family, eating food, using running water, spending time with friends, experiencing the seasons, asking for forgiveness, of hearing a new story.

All those intentions above have something to do with becoming even more comfortable in my own skin. That includes being grateful for this body, taking care of it, using my mind and my personality in the ways it runs best, recognizing my insecurities and dealing with them, and being even more okay with transparency because I have put thought and work into each thing I do. 

And with kids, a new year is an adventure all of its own. It's a year of discovering how they will develop, getting to know who they are, figuring out the new dynamics of a relationship, and learning how to parent the new stages.  It's also more opportunity to work on our family's mission statement. I'm looking forward to all of this, but my expectation for the next year is the same one I have for tomorrow: that it will be new and riddled with grace.