AAANND WE'RE BACK AT IT

I have these moments at least once a day where I stare hard at each of my girls and think, "This here moment will not be forever" and then I try to squeeze my brain into taking a mental photo of the moment and wonder how I keep dealing with the heartbreak of all of these moments slipping past me like water through my hands.

It's a touch dramatic but it's one of those things that have become more apparent and urgent as I have gotten older...and even more so as a parent: Nothing stays the same! Everything will change! 

In the hard moments, that's what gets you through, knowing that it's temporary.  In the good moments, that's what breaks your heart, knowing that it's temporary. 

This past weekend, in the midst of anxiety and a long to-do list in preparation of my first week back at work, I took a break outside in our backyard with the girls. It was a beautiful day outside.

"Mom, I'm going to have an a-venture, and you're going to come with me!" said Sloane.  

"Should we look for sticks?" I asked.  

"Oh yes! Let's look for sticks and bring them all together!" 

"Look at this bootiful flower, mom. I'm going to collect it." 

"1, 2, 3, 4......"

"This one is a really good one, a special one."

"Look at this one! It can be like a sword!"

"Papa, come outside and see our sticks!" 

".....I'm waaaaiiting." 

"Sloane, should we make letters with the sticks?"

"Yes! Let's make letters."  "Look, mom, Logan wants to play!"

"She's too little to play now, but she can play with me when she gets bigger.  Mom, I wuv her so so much." 

"Look at the clouds, mom!"

I am the luckiest.

So! Now it's Friday and I'm happy to report I survived my first week back at work.  Monday felt strange because I came to work with my life having drastically altered in the past few months, and nothing there seemed to have changed. And then by Tuesday, it felt like I had never left. Figures.

As hard as it was, it got easier each day, and here's the thing about being at work most of the day. Being away from these babes makes you do more of those freeze-the-moment thing with your brain.  You are so aware that time is limited so you want to stay alert for all of it.

Also, a big shout out to friends who offer to watch your baby when your daycare falls through and especially to the friend who took care of my wee little one during my first week.

This feeling right here...it's my dose of 'everything will be ok'.

And let me end with this here,



TA-DA!

 Have a great weekend all!