SLOANE AT 20 MONTHS

This past week had some drama up in here and I had the front row seats. My 20 month old put on quite a show, and I was genuinely confused, then slightly terrified and then exhausted. Turns out, after I peeked into her mouth after putting the pieces together, her gums were swollen and bleeding and she was miserable with pain and crankiness. GIRL, I feel you, I told her. I have lived with wisdom teeth pain for months and there is nothing like that searing pain in mouth to rock your world. I've been keeping a watchful eye on her and her gums since, doing all the things that the filtered internet advice says to do, and wishing on all my lucky stars that these episodes are few.  After those few days of terror, the days have melted into the most pleasant of days with her being the sweetest little thing, making me wonder if those days were all just a nightmarish dream and marveling at this new whiplash world of toddler-dom.  

She's asleep now as I write this, we are all happily tired with the glow of a full weekend and I'm having one of those moments where I can't believe how lucky I am to have this sweet, fiery, smart person in my life. Maybe awash with even more appreciation after a hard couple of days, I am in wonder.

In wonder and fascination that at 20 months...

- She is potty training herself at daycare.  Apparently, one day she started marching herself to the bathroom and standing next to the toilet, announcing that she has to poop or pee, and then when she is seated upon the throne, she does her business and diligently washes her hand afterwards. She hasn't been doing that at home consistently but we are going to pay attention and see what happens there. 
- She knows how to put socks on by herself, tries really hard to put on her pants and shirt by herself, closes the door behind her (pulls it shut and then up on her tip toes to reach the doorknob), opens the mail that we let her bring in
- Her favorite color is yellow
- She is stringing sentences, like "I wan seeeee" and "mo nanana (banana) peeas" 
- She is getting better and better at singing along with her favorite songs. 
- She always points out when Rusty's food and water bowl is empty (with great concern) and wants to help fill it up. 
- She loves to laugh and I see peeks into her sense of humor 

I am forever clutching my heart these days, trying to hold my heart together from falling apart into smithereens about the fact that I have to watch this baby grow up right before my eyes, leaving each day behind, never to be lived again, with the next day witnessing a slightly more grown up version of said baby.

Time is both a blessing and a curse in this way.  It's a blessed thing to leave behind the hard days, but it's a curse in that you know that the sweetness of this time will never be again. 

During the first few months of all this the thing I knew I would miss the most was how teeny tiny she was, how she laid like a lump, her newness.

The next few months I knew I would miss her plumpness, those rolls, that dawn of awareness in her eyes as she noticed everything. 

In these recent months, I know I will miss this time of learning who she is, and the absolute and pure joy that lights her face when she sees me.  I am her favorite person right now and I am soaking in every bit of it.