WHAT SLOANE HAS TO LOOK FORWARD TO WHEN SHE'S A TEENAGER

I came home a little discouraged today because Sloane went from drinking a whole lot of milk at daycare last week, to only drinking a measly 6 oz today. She also only got one hour  of a nap. It may not seem like a big deal, but Sloane has been waking up several times during the night this past week and I'm worried about things like teething and whether she is getting enough milk, so after several days of wonky sleep and a long day at work, I don't know, it was somehow especially disheartening.  Straw that broke the camel's back, that sort of a thing. Anyways, I felt like I was a little bit in slow motion and was making dinner in slow motion mode while Ken was feeding Sloane at the table, when I noticed that there was some interrogatory thing happening and listened in.  I just wanted to share here a little bit of what I overheard and saw while making dinner.  This is a story about what Sloane has to look forward to, but it's also a story about how my husband can make me laugh even when I feel like I couldn't possibly have the energy

The key thing to note here is that all of this is 1) one-sided, and 2) in the tone of good cop/bad cop:

As he feeds her a spoonful of pureed green beans,
So...tell me about what's going on at daycare these days, Sloane. What are the kids up to? Anyone smoking up?  Crack? Sneaking it in behind the teacher's back?

Sloane has been blowing raspberries like a boss, and today she was blowing them especially loud and wet right at the spoon, instead of opening her mouth.
Where'd you learn to do that? Did someone tell you to do that when you are eating? Was it Max? Not in this household young lady.
Sloane laughs delightedly.

Sloane stares intently at the bar cart.
Is that what they told you to do? Did you tell them about how you sit really close to all the alcohol? And they said that you should sneak them some? Is that it? Did Britney (one of the daycare workers) tell you to get her some?

Sloane watches Ken while he drinks a glass of ice tea.
That's right. My breastmilk is brown...and it's delicious.