Sloane is halfway through six and Logan is halfway through three years! It's been a while since I've done one of these reflections, but I recently noticed that I had a few of these notes jotted down in my "Notes" app of my phone and wanted to commit them to a post for safekeeping (but ARE blogs safekeeping? I keep wondering about this; whether I need to find some other way to back up these posts or try to make them into a book or something. anyone else?)
They are so stunning to me; how wonderful, brilliant and different they are. They have moments when they argue or miscommunicate, and they have moments where they are lost in their own little world for hours and hours at a time playing pretend, and they have moments when they are so tender and loving to each other, it cracks me open.
I try to soak them in, and regret it immediately when I am impatient with them, and most times I don't think I'll be able to stand them not being like this, in this age, forever. But then they always move on, and I always adjust, heart breaking just a little bit, but also so excited for the new things that come.
What is truly an unexpected perk and work is that as they grow, not only do I learn about who they are, but I learn more about who I am too.
For example, Sloane and I have similar interests and passions but our tendencies seem to be very different. For now, she appears to be more of an internal processor, and she will take her time with decisions and expressing her feelings. And lately, I've been noticing my reaction to her emotions have been less patient. I think I used to be really good at hearing her out and walking her through things, no matter how long it took, but now that she is older and acts so competent and knowledgeable, I expect so much more of her. But then I realize, it's not her, it's me and my own issues coming into play here. I do the thing of compartmentalizing my emotions, but that is just not how Sloane operates. For the most part, I feel, identify, and analyze immediately (not all the time obviously; sometimes it takes a while before I figure out why I feel a certain way.), sometimes without feeling the whole of my feelings, but Sloane feels and then processes it internally and expresses, sometimes before she gets to the identify phase. Sometimes her emotions come out at a moment and it turns out it is because of something else entirely that happened the day before. It has been a good reminder to me lately to pause, not be too reactive, to be patient, not to over-verbalize and just hold her until she is ready to talk.
With Logan, her personality and tendencies is one that I understand more readily, but I can see the dangers in that too. That I might assume things about her before giving her space to explain herself and blossom of her own accord. She expresses plenty of emotion, but it's plain what/why/how she feels in that moment, and then she quickly moves on. Emotion is a quick and easily accessible tool for her that she is not afraid of using, along with all of her opinions. I'm still figuring her out, but I was relieved to realize that her moments of being completely unreasonable were due to her being a toddler, and being unable to fully explain herself. Nowadays, for the most part (unless she is extremely tired or sick), she is very reasonable and responds well to boundaries. Sometimes, I have to stand my ground and be really firm, but I get the sense that she respects that. She will always try to hold her own and get her way, but if I meet her energy with my own firm energy, she will comply.
I know it's way too early to tell, but lately, I have had suspicions that Sloane might be a 6w5, and Logan is probably a 7w8. It's really important for Sloane that she feels safe and supported, and she loves knowing how things work. It's really important for Logan that she is not deprived or missing out on things, and she wants to know that she can make her own way.
Logan is at this age where so much of what she says is surprising and hilarious to us. I take video as much as I can remember, but too much of that can sort of suck the air out of the whole moment. We just belly laugh and try to be present as it is happening.
Some things Logan has said recently that I've been able to jot down:
"Hey mom, I’m a wine person." followed by, "so I need some wine." When I deny her this, she then will ask, "Ok, then can I have some milk, but in a wine glass? Like A LOT of milk. A LOT."
Logan: “Is it almost dinner time?”
Me: “Yes, it is!”
Logan: “Great! After dinner can we have breakfast?"
While in bed: "Mom I’m going to pray. Dear God, thank you for me and mom going all the way to sleep. Amen."
She has also often said, "I don’t want to grow up!!" which always surprises me (don't kids usually want to grow up?) and has stated that she will go up to age 7, but no further.
Another instance: "Dad I like your basketball shoes."
Ken:" Oh, these are for volleyball ... you can wear something like these when you grow up!"
Logan: "No thanks, I don’t want to grow up."
One time, while driving, she overheard a conversation I was having on the phone and when I got off the phone, she asked me what I was talking about. "Oh, I was just trying to get a quote for something....I'm working on a website." Logan responds with fury, "Mom, those are not real words!!"
And my favorite:
“I look beautiful when I’m naked!”
With Sloane, it's harder to capture moments and conversations with her with just a few quotes here and there. She is so thoughtful and funny, and there is so much more context to her thoughts and our interactions these days.
She loves jokes, riddles, and learning new songs. She still loves stories and can sit for HOURS listening to an audiobook or anyone reading aloud to her. She has a great eye and hand for drawing, and she loves learning about animals. She is affectionate, loves cuddling and is still a champion sleeper that can sleep through anything. She'll tell me I'm doing a good job, and is so helpful whenever I need a hand. She loves playing with other kids, and also enjoys playing by herself.
She tells me random animal facts that she has learned at school, in books and on Wild Kratts (one of her favorite shows), and right now she is particularly obsessed with horses. She has been bringing home sheets of paper where she writes down all the different types of horses that she can find from a horse book at school, so we can look them up and learn more about them. She doesn't like watching movies that much, especially if they are new ones that are unfamiliar to her, but she is a big fan of Mary Poppins (and Mary Poppins Returns, which we saw recently together).
There is one word that she still says incorrectly, that I can't bear to correct her about: she'll say "brook" instead of "broke" for the past tense of "break", as in, "Oh no, that brook!". She is learning new words everyday and will use them out on me, surprising me and making me laugh. On the weekdays these days, I'll wake up to Sloane singing songs in her room as she plays - songs she has learned or most likely ones that she makes up as she goes.
They are also both into superheroes lately, and the first half of their superhero play is always announcing all of their individual powers and demonstrating them.
The are simply marvelous.
