IN CASE THE FACT THAT IT IS THE WEEKEND ALONE ISN'T DOING IT FOR YOU

It’s true, a baby can have gotten into a rhythm of consistently sleeping beautifully through the night, and then one night, for no particularly reason that you can ascertain, baby wakes up several times with hoarse cries and won’t be satiated unless fed or held. Such was a night last night, which made for a groggy and harried morning, one which consisted of simultaneously applying concealer with my pinky finger, while feeding Sloane mashed bananas and mangoes, AND putting whatever pieces of breakfast I can manage into my own mouth, while scanning the room for that black cardigan and telling myself not to forget to bring the baby food for daycare.  Then Sloane poops a big one while delightedly watching me run around looking for the keys as I’m holding the keys in one hand, and even though there are 4 minutes left before I will officially be late, I run upstairs to change the diaper, and find to my amazement that I’m in the car, backing out of the garage 3 minutes later, making me feel like I will maybe be a human today, after all. We did it, I tell Sloane, and accelerate as I turn out into the main street, thinking about how I need to give Krystal the check for next week and talk to her about a possible diaper rash that she should look out for. 

Next thing I know! Blue sirens in my rearview mirror and I’m pulling over to the side of the road, and medium-sized story short, we find our protagonist in tears with a speeding ticket in hand. The cop didn’t see the baby in the back and got sympathetic once he realized I was holding it together by a thin thread that morning, but it was after he gave me the ticket, and at that point I felt with full force how tired I was. I can’t fully explain the need to sob, but there it was, and it was brief. Don’t worry, I pulled it together, because I’m a grownup! And also because I’m not quite at the stage in my relationship with my daycare provider where I show up with mascara running down my face. 

Things that helped: seeing Sloane light up when I came around to get her once we arrived at daycare, squeezing her tight as I walked up the stairs, kissing her bright-eyed, soft-cheeked face. Also, this song, reading this essay, drinking an extremely strong and loud cup of coffee, and having my husband say the equivalent of ‘there, there’ on the phone as I sniffled out my story right after said event.  Then later on that morning, my apples were stolen from the office refrigerator.

If you wanted to get to the thesis of the whole thing, it could potentially be summarized by this sentence:

A rough morning happens to a generally fortunate person.  

Let’s round out this post with a couple of photos of a baby and some more balloons, shall we? And make good use out of this weekend?

THAT TIME I SOMEHOW STUFFED 30 HELIUM BALLOONS INTO A CAR AND GOT THEM HOME

My dear husband turned 30 today...30! I wanted him to feel loved and encouraged, especially in light of all the life we lived and experienced this past year. I asked friends and family to write down something they love about Ken and I attached these notes to 30 balloons. Let me tell you, it was not easy getting these balloons home, and yes two popped before ken got home, but when I saw his reaction to the balloons and all the notes, it was TOTALLY worth it.  I love him so.  Happy birthday love.

IF YOU WISH YOU WERE AT SXSW RIGHT NOW OR IF YOU JUST NEED SOME NEW MUSIC....

photo from K.'s bros birthday weekend this past weekend

Stephen Thompson of NPR Music put together 'The Austin 100' playlist - 100 songs that he picked as highlights from the bands that are playing at SXSW this year, and you can download 71 of them HERE for a limited time. Check it out, there's some great ones in there. 

SLOANE AT 7 MONTHS

I surprised myself with how excited I got about the fact that one day, all of sudden, she started clapping. I’m realizing it really is all a matter of perspective – months go by where the baby is a tiny frail lump, waving her arms about, not realizing what they’re for, and then one day, she is taking her small hands and clapping them together, delighted by the sound it makes. It’s freakin’ amazing. That’s the thing about watching her grow before my very eyes, I get silly delighted by the smallest of things and at the same time get huge and philosophical and big-picture-minded by what it means to witness a baby grow into a person.

She also started army crawling, and I’m not kidding you, I got a little emotional. Up until last week, she had been getting increasingly mobile by expertly rolling around, turning herself in circles with her arms, rocking back and forth while in crawling position, and she also got pretty good at crawling backwards. But then this past week, she really wanted to get to a book, and I watched as she climbed the floor as if it were a wall, and got herself that book. It was all of 2 feet, but I don’t know, I was a little speechless. And then naturally, I screeched at ken to hurry up and come look.  It’s natural development, yes yes, but also, it feels like witnessing a miracle! 

She has always squawked like a baby dino (or dragon), from the very first couple of weeks,  but a few weeks ago, when k.’s grandma was here, my sis-in-law recorded Sloane reacting in squawk-speak to her great-grandma and from then on, she was ms. i-have-something-extremely-important-to-say. Is this an indicator of things to come? I wouldn’t be surprised. Ken is loud and passionate, I’m vocal and verbal, Ken used to be a stubborn child, I used to be a bossy child.  

She is still as easy going as ever, but she is developing more feelings, that’s what it seems like anyways; she is developing more opinions to communicate that yes, she needs to be picked up, that yes, she wants more milk, no, she can’t take one more bite, yes, she’s quite pleased, no, she doesn’t want you to wipe her nose, yes, that’s the funniest thing she’s ever heard, yes, keep dancing, yes, she’s happy to see you, and WHAT is the story with that fluffy creature that lives with us?

^Here is a video her being vocal, here and here (I'm not just trying to be annoying there in that second video, I'm joining in on her yells 'cause she seems to think us doing that with her is a way of communicating/chanting/singing?) ^

After the photo shoot, she was all, 'we done here mama? how do i get off this thing?'

GIRL & GRAAF

I love the blue-tinged grey color, I love how it contrasts with the white trim, I like the whiff of a ship, I like how it makes me want to write special handwritten notes.

by Sugar Paper, found on Girl & Graaf, via Miss Moss.

TWO GIRLS HANGING OUT IN A DRESSING ROOM

the other weekend, we were at the nike store in georgetown, d.c. and while trying on a few things sloane and i ended up hanging out in the dressing room for a little while and couldn't help taking these photos because the mirror was so huge and the lighting was so good. also, we gave their dressing room four stars.  the employee who ushered us into one said, "oh let me get you the suite", all joking like, cause i had the stroller, and i was all, "oh wow yeah" when i rolled in there because it really was nice. the four stars are for large space, privacy and quiet, good lighting, and the feeling like i could hunker down and nurse baby for 20 minutes in there, uninterrupted, if i needed to. 

sloane and i love dressing rooms. it's a haven from the whirl of shopping, errand running, stroller pushing life that we live sometimes. i have found that it can be a Godsend for a mama that needs to change an emergency diaper and nurse or cuddle a fussy baby, and if there isn't a long line, i've found that most dressing rooms attendants are very nice about you hanging out in there for a while if you tell them nicely that you need to nurse.  it's also a quiet way for us to regroup from the hustle and bustle - hugs, kisses, and you know, girl time. 

DATING MY HUSBAND

About a month ago, while my mom was still here and available to babysit, the husband and I ran out for a quick dessert date, after which I concluded that I LOVE dessert dates, and decided to make this sort of thing a regular habit in our romantic lives. It’s wonderful because we don’t end up spending as much as we would on an entire meal out, we get to try the desserts at a restaurant, which we rarely do due to being stuffed with other foods, and a fancy cocktail, at that! Somehow our dessert date felt more like a date than a dinner date usually does. Maybe it’s because it’s an indulgence, out of the routine, but whatever it is, I like it. We went to Balliceaux, which is one of my favorite places to go in the fan area to feel fancy - they have good music and dancing on the weekends! the food is good! the atmosphere is both mod and cozy!

And because sometimes I like listing the things that we tried at a restaurant if they were impressive – blood orange sorbet, omg, thumbs up to the negroni, which was really strong. Grapefruit infusion? Rosemary syrup? I'm in.

The actual thing that I wanted to write here in the mood of a dear diary is that, ahem, “dear diary, I just went on a fabulous date with this amazing guy! He was attentive, clear-eyed, intelligent, and handsome. We had great conversation. I liked his olive green jacket and the way he let me take pictures of the sorbet before we ate it, even though it was melting. He made me laugh, looked at me, I mean really looked at me, and I felt close to him. I think I would definitely go out with him again!"

Ta-da! Here we are. These are the type of photos that we are going to look back on and be like, oh look! That's us on a date 6 months after we had a baby looking like we are pretty pleased with ourselves about having a baby in our lives but also excited to get away for an hour or two. ...

SLOANE AT 6 MONTHS

This post is long overdue, but long story short, the baby is well into her 6th month. I’ve been counting by weeks, counting 4 weeks as a month, theeeen I realized doing that would get Sloane to 12 months one month before her one year birth date. Which is just awkward and confusing for everyone. So I’m officially shifting to counting her age by months. Which means, this last post about this was baby at 5 months. Which means my wish that she would stay 6 months for a long time came true, kind of.  Anyways, heeerrree she is! 6 months.

^^^ Lately, she does this thing where she stares at you, hard, like she does, until you look over at her and then she breaks out into the biggest, widest, truest smile. When I am cooking and she is hanging out in her contraption thing, sometimes I look over and find that she is standing still, looking at me, waiting for me to turn around, and then she is all ‘HI MAMA!!!!’ not with words; with her face. When K. is around, she is often staring at him, waiting, and as soon as he looks back at her, it's sunshine on her face.

^^^ It always makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside when baby has been taking a nap, and she is laying somewhere where I can see her sleeping, and then get surprised when I look over at her again and her eyes are open and she is just quietly laying there, surveying her surroundings, nary a peep. Blink blink.

^^^ She is showing more will, and it is so funny to see this tiny person get all worked up in a huff because she wants more pureed mango. I guess she has no other way to communicate right now that she wants more, so it’s a lot of "eh eh eh eh eh eh."

^^^Watching her employ all sorts of tactics to try to get her hands on something out of reach is fascinating.

^^^The other day I was giving her a bath and she could not get enough of the thin rod of water coming down from the bathtub faucet. She fixated on trying to grab the rod with her hands and we both zoned out for a while, watching her tiny hands attempt to conquer water.

^^^When I drink a glass of water, she stares me down as if I am doing the most.fascinating.thing. Come to think of it, you can’t help get sort of an inflated sense of yourself, with this tiny creature always watching your every move as if you are doing something awesome. Like this morning, I was putting on my boots, and she could not get enough of it.

^^^If you stand her up and she has just eaten a good meal and is feeling particularly happy, she will do this sort of dance where she stamps her feet – left, right, left, right – with a bounce. A jig of sorts.

^^^She has started on solids, she likes it, and it makes me giddy to introduce her to a new food each week.  Also, I started to notice that when I tell her to “use your hands”, she grabs the spoon and complies. I, of course, declared her a genius on the spot.

^^^One tooth has emerged. It’s the middle one on the bottom, and she likes to clench her jaw with her one tooth and do a repetitive biting motion with her mouth.

^^^She is still utterly fascinated by Rusty. He is pretty unconcerned about her.

^^^I love holding her little hand.

WITH MY LITTLE EYE...

 this is my desktop wallpaper right now (source)

i cannot stop thinking about this passion fruit lime bavarian cake recipe, originally from the tartine bakery in san francisco. if i obsess long enough, i just might end up trying to make it (source) 

the postal service just released this song, "a tattered line of string" - their first since their "give up" album ten years ago. that album reminds me of senior year of college. this new song sounds so much like what they are about, it made me nostalgic, even while listening to it for the first time.

REFLECTIONS OF A SATURDAY MORNING LONG GONE BY

Life is a little overwhelming right now. It’s a blur, and I meant to post this in the middle of last week but, you know.

You know it’s bad when you can’t keep your eyes open on your drive to work and have to blast country music as loud as you can so that you don’t doze off. That is what is happening these days because the literal lyrics and easy melodies are doing it for my frazzled brain.

A lot of times I’m in the middle of preparing some food for the baby and I think to myself, I can’t believe my body and mind are still operating at this moment. I must have a reserve battery that has kicked in somewhere. Or maybe it’s that a giant hand comes down occasionally and winds me up. Or maybe it’s because I get to cuddle and kiss the cutest little dragon baby every morning and night?

It’s clear that Sloane doesn’t understand the concept of sleeping in when it’s the weekend. She’s up by 5 or 5:30AM these days, even on the weekends, which means I am too, and then she gets sleepy again by 9AM so sometimes I get to sneak in another hour of sleep. This past Saturday though, I decided we should get out of the house and put a dent in the long list of errands that I always end up having for the weekends. No scratch that, for life in general. It’s very possible that my entire life story these days could be told through the lists I make each day. Sleeping in might have been what the doctor ordered, but it was also unexpectedly kind of nice to be out and about at some of my favorite spots while it was still early on a weekend day, which meant that there was hardly anybody out. It was nice to walk through the quiet.

We visited a bookstore, which always puts a pep in my step, and I thought I might read a little with my coffee while the baby napped in the stroller but then she woke up and we just ended up taking pictures of her sleepy-i-just-woke-up face. It’s so much cheek and oh so serious. Also, she was like, ‘What IS this place?’ because visually, the bookstore and all its books and colors must seem like carnival for baby eyes. We also stopped by the baby store to get more baby feeding supplies, did some power walking up and down hills, and saw the most gorgeous bouquet of flowers at a local market.

What does it say about me that it is more important to me now to live near a good grocery store than a good restaurant/bar? Good things, I think.

 

Oh and if we are sharing about weekends gone by, why don't I sneak in some photos from the Sunday before this one just discussed? That was my mom's last weekend here and even though she was here for longer than usual, it was still sad to see her go, and i know how much i appreciate her and my dad being here this past winter.

we went to chicken fiesta for our last meal together and here is sloane after her nap  - serious face, happy face.

and isn't this last photo the best photo ever? this was what i found my mom and sloane doing when i came downstairs, the last morning of her stay here.

IF YOU NEED A LITTLE PICK-ME-UP...