WHAT I'M READING V. 23

Hidden Figures by Margot Lee Shetterly: I heard about this book because of the movie and I wanted to read it before I saw the film version. It wasn't what I expected so it took me a while to get into it. It was very serious and read more like a history textbook, but the content of that history was so interesting that I made it through. I also hadn't realized that so much of the story starts with and is related to the area of Hampton Roads, an area close by that I knew nearly nothing about, so it was fascinating to learn of its recent history. And by the end of it, I was thoroughly compelled and stirrred by the strength of these intelligent and hard working women who essentially blazed the trail in the field of space science. I'm excited to see the movie.

The Light Between Oceans by M.L. Stedman: A friend recommended this as a light read and I was very much drawn into this WWI area. The setting is beautiful and the story is heartbreaking. The story centers around grief - the grief of war, the grief of losing loved ones, the grief of the ones who wait at home, the grief of a mother. I cried several times throughout the book, especially the end. I cried, I emphasized, I ached; it was cathartic.

David and Goliath by Malcolm Gladwell: Another reccomendation by a different friend, and another one I really enjoyed. I listened to the audiobook version read by the author and it reminded me a lot of his podcast, 'Revisionist History', which I love. In this book, he sets out to show that the act of facing overwhelming odds produces greatness and beauty, and that we often misinterpret these lopsided conflicts between giants versus underdog. He states that we are generally misled about the nature of advantages and he encourages people to reframe our perspective of strong and weak. He tells great stories of different people in these situations and it really is remarkable what can arise from people in the face of necessity. 

Today Will Be Different by Maria Semple: Off the bat the narrator took on a breezy and familiar tone and I couldn't decide if I liked it or if I found it slightly annoying. But the writing was definitely funny, I found myself snorting aloud, and by the third of the way through I saw the real human ache underneath the sharp humor.  The story is about sisterhood, struggling with self, and a marriage - amusing to read but not entirely memorable. 

SPRING AT BEECHWOOD, A VIDEO

I started capturing small clips of life around our house when signs of spring started showing up. I wanted to document this season of our lives for posterity, but also because this season has gotten so busy that it gets overwhelming at times, and I don't want to miss appreciating the everyday and ordinary things. These are the moments that collectively make the story of my life right now. 

This video is a love letter to my family and a reminder for myself (as I made it and as I watch it) that it is the small and seemingly mundane things that are the most beautiful and precious.  

GROUND BEEF NOODLES WITH PICKLES

I have made this dish three (four?) times now so I thought it was time to share it because it has become a crowd favorite. I got the recipe from my friend Lisa, who inspires me in that kitchen with all her recipes and weekly meal planning posts, and this was one of them. 

The first time I made it I instantly knew Ken was going to like it because it has his favorite flavor profile of sesame oil, soy sauce, miso, white pepper with a meat (and he did!) This reminded us of this Chinese jja-hang-myun dish that used to be one of my favorites at Ken's dad's old restaurant and that flavor combination probably has a lot to do with it. Other perks of this recipe is that it is so simple to put together and the girls love it too. 

It is also versatile because you can substitute the ground pork for ground beef (like we usually do), toss in any type of greens to wilt, or make it with more or less broth depending on your preference. We've also eaten it over rice and liked it just as much. Side note: the pickles for this recipe is likely not meant to be kosher dill pickles but we've been eating a lot of those pickles and usually have then stocked in the fridge so that's what we use. 

Lola waiting for her bowl with great anticipation! 

OYSTER PARTAY

If you are my husband, sometimes a captain of a shrimp and oyster boat emails you (because you are on his email list duh) that he has a had a good oyster catch and he is offering to sell a lot of it for a very reasonable price, and so you enthusiastically engage and bring home a huge amount of oysters (too many?) and decide to invite other people who are also oyster inclined. And then your good friends offer to make a shrimp broil and some other friends bring side items, and you have yourself an oyster party.

LINKS I LOVE

1.  I haven't really been eating or making baked goods lately but that might change soon because I saw this the other day, "Could This Recipe Be the Greatest Chocolate Chip Cookie Ever?"....so now I need to know. Could it??

2. Why baking can feel so good...especially when it's for other people.

3. Also from Bon Appetite, in the opposite direction but just as intriguing: Hand Salad.  I love romaine lettuce and the name gave me a good long giggle. I'm in.

4. One more food related thing. I love brunch with all my heart. I also think Joy is super duper. I can't wait to check out her new cookbook, Over Easy.

5. S-Town Podcast. Do it.

6. We are already a week into April, but go ahead and download this gorgeous desktop wallpaper why don't you.

7. Beautiful prints that you can download for $15!

8. Something about the decor here just speaks to me.

9. I'm really excited to try this cocktail recipe  starting with making my own blackberry liqueur. Stay tuned.

10. Are these spice clips about to change my life? I'm about to find out.

SPRING EVENING

These days the most luxurious of things is coming home to an evening during the week and being able to spend that time outdside. It means we usually eat our dinner on the porch, and then meander through the yard and enjoy the sunshine together, Rusty included. We are having beautiful spring days this week, soft and hazy, and it is a dream. Yesterday, after our picnic dinner, we stayed outdoors until it got dark - I wandered around looking at all the budding bushes and plants, checking on their status, and Sloane and Lola scampered about with their yogurt pops (frozen Greek yogurt and blueberries) feeding imaginary chickens (that photo above is chicken food that Sloane collected and carried in her dress skirt) and practicing their twirls. 

STARTING OUR SPRING HURRAHS

 I think it is safe to say that spring is officially here. I could cry about it I'm so happy. Two weekends ago was the first weekend where we had the full extent of the longer days and the lovely weather, and we made full use of it. We were worn to the bone each night, but it wasn't a terrible thing; there is a privilege to being tired from hard work. So that was two weekends ago  and this is the first chance I've had to do this post, which I'm going to go ahead and do because I want to commemorate the frenzy and romance of these first few weeks of spring.

On that Friday, I actually took the day off and spent the day with Sloane. We spent the morning attending the Discovery program at the Richmond Symphony orchestra for kids where they played beautiful pieces to introduce various instruments of the orchestra - we all, kids and adults alike, loved it - and then had an outdoor picnic and romp outdoors at Brown's island. Afterward Sloane helped me run several errands, which I enjoy doing with her so much. I love her company and conversation as we go from place to place. 

Also, I've been experimenting more with cocktails these days, trying new recipes I've been meaning to try, and happily partaking. It's come in handy for all the spring cleaning we've been doing. That weekend, we started tackling that list. I cleaned the sunroom, wiped down the frame the best I could, realized we do in fact need to give it another coat of paint, spent lots of time outside with the girls, worked on putting together patio items, made soup for a super party that night, went to church, made what seemed like one million meals during meal prep, started painting the kids picnic tables I salvaged, and Ken spent all of Sunday afternoon chopping wood (from large hunks of branches that had fallen from a giant pine tree in our yard) and hauling wood and branches to the dump. We are slowly making our dent in our to-do list and we are doing plenty of high-fiving to commemorate it.

Cheers! Here's to you, spring. 

BIG ANNOUNCEMENT

....Ken and I are launching our very own podcast.!! 

Not a baby (lest you were fooled by the title of the post), although sort of it is. It is a creative baby that we have been working on together and it has been really fun (and yes, time consuming). 

The episodes will consist of conversations we have with our friends about various topics that focus on what they are passionate about and how that impacts their relationships. The idea is that we will be exploring how friendships and created and grown, thus making authentic communities.

We are hoping that if you listen, you will not only learn something new about our guests, but it will continue the conversations within your own communities. 

Right now our goal is to go for 20 episodes and then assess if we want to keep on going. This has been one of those experiences where I truly feel the benefit of the process no matter the outcome or longevity.

You can now listen on iTunes to our 8 min Intro episode that explains  the “what” and the “why” of the podcast and also the name.  You can also stream the episode directly from our website  The episode with our first guest will be released on Sunday, April 2^nd, and we will release a new episode every Sunday! 

Yay!

SPRING TO DO LIST

This might be one of the busiest seasons of spring I have had. I'm trying to decide if I am overwhelmed or supremely excited. Is it worrisome that I can't tell the difference? I don't think I'm necessarily over-scheduling, I'm too obsessed with my bullet journal and calendar for that, but I am stretching everything as much as it will go and stuffing things into crevices. Every minute matters. In that regard, I am never taking a minute for granted.

Something else that is happening, which has been fascinating to observe, is that my self-proclaimed introverted husband is no longer really introverted. Back in the day, I would plan things and he would pull me back if he thought there were too many things going on or just resist with a flat out no. But now, he is an avid socializer and planner as well, which means double the events and schemes. On top of that, Ken and I have been working on a project together (which I will share about very soon!), and that has been taking up all of the spare moments. Add to that the coming of spring which is terribly exciting for all of us, but slowly we have realized over the past few weeks that it is going to mean a whole lot of work – work that we are having trouble finding the time to do.

At first this post was going to be a list of our spring cleaning to-do list, but instead I decided to make a list of things to do to make sure that I stay excited about things and not get overwhelmed. So here they are:

1. Prioritize sleep. This affects everything.
2. Make a renewed effort to wake up before the girls. I was doing a good job with this for a while, but I lost it a few months back. I'm working on getting it back.

Let's start with these two simple things and see where it goes from here.

WHAT I'M READING V. 22

Quiet by Susan Kane

This book came highly recommended by a friend, and I have been on the waiting list for this book for quite a while. I read it thinking about Sloane and how to raise someone who I suspect is more of an introvert. It was really interesting to read about some of her points regarding the huge cultural shift over the turn of the century, when we went from a culture of character to one of personality. She points out that this emphasis on personality encourages performance rather than deepening important character traits like integrity and humility. And because of that, in our society today, and especially in schools, extrovertness and gregariousness is more highly valued than someone who is thoughtful and reserved, without really understanding the differences. This book was enlightening in many ways and also confirms many of the things I have learned along the way from parenting an introvert. As a side note, there is a little quiz in the book to find out which way you lean, and my score returned the result of ambivert! Which is a person who has both traits equally, and I didn't even know it was a thing. I've always been fascinated about this topic (ask Ken, he will tell you I'm slightly obsessed) and I think everyone who is a member of society should read this. 

Swing Time by Zadie Smith 

Good writing, interesting premise, and very interesting themes of class. I  didn't get into it until the middle of the book where I could more clearly see the bigger themes of class and race being woven together and then I appreciated what she was doing, but there was so much jumping back and forth in time and as a result it wavered my attention. Overall, I think it was a great read and I would recommend it if you love her writing, but not very memorable. (On this topic of Smith though, I love her essays and short stories in the New Yorker, and her essay, "Find Your Beach" in The New York Review of Books is one of my favorites.)

Commonwealth by Anne Patchett

 I loved her recent book of short stories, "This is a Story of a Happy Marriage." I have read her books before but she really got me with that collection of essays and I have been a fan ever since. I was very excited to see what she would do with this novel and I was not disappointed. It is another one that jumps back and forth in time, but in a way that had me completely hooked. I thought the story was wonderful and it was written beautifully.

Wings and the Child, or The Building of Magic Cities by E.B. Nesbit 

I am almost done with this one and I appreciate it so much. It was written in 1913, but there are many things that resonate with me as a parent who is trying to pay attention to my daughters' childhood in a thoughtful and meaningful way. The chapters include titles like: 'Imagination', 'Romance in Games', 'Beauty and Knowledge', 'Of Taking Root', and 'Playthings'. She emphasizes how important it is to remember what is was like to be a child when you are raising a child, and likens the rearing of a child to "the science of building a magic city in the soul of a child."  It doesn't hurt that Cori Samuel reads this book (free on the Librovox app!) and she is such a wonderful reader. 

ON A WEEKDAY

In the morning, every morning, I feel a thrill of anticipation about meeting my girls again. The thrill is delicious, and so are their cheeks.

My body is heavy and I move slowly, and I would give just about anything to be back in bed, but as I move from room to room, I notice things. Things that were there the night before but I see anew in the morning light and I am thankful: Thank you for this house, thank you for the heat, and for running water. Thank you for a kitchen close by. Thank you for food in the fridge. 

Breakfast is always rushed, which pains me, and sometimes I hear myself impatient with the girls, which really makes me want to crawl back into bed and snuggle all of us back into slumber. But there is Lola, so happy with her morning meal, and Sloane, so big and capable of getting dressed all by herself. I beam at them. They smile back through rumpled hair and sleepy eyes. 

Sometimes work is busy and stressful, sometimes it provides a space to think. These days work is about connecting with co-workers over a project, and most days I feel proud of the work because I work hard. 

Coming home is a mixture of relief and also anxiety because I want to fit in so many things before the end of the day. A joyful reunion with the girls, and then conversation over dinner. Somedays it is a picnic outside, other days it's a haze and all I have left is leftover energy from a long day. And these are moments when I truly feel like I may not be cut out for this parenting thing. There is whining, there is clinging hands that won't let me go to the bathroom and I'm sure that I have long passed the end of my rope. And then with one phrase; one look at me, one touch on my arm, and I'm a puddle, overfilling with the most tenderness and love and gratitude 

My husband comes through the door; and I blink, trying to see him through the kaleidoscope vision that is the busy. I've missed him throughout the day but I have to blink a couple of times past the 'did you take out the dog' and past the 'another adult' to the loving 'oh, my dear friend.'

I gaze at the girls while they eat. I gaze at them while they read together, in the bath, in my arms. Heavy warm solid sleep baby in my arms. The baby that was so active and energetic before, now sleepy and warm. The baby that is slowly leaving her babyhood behind. 

I am so grateful for the extra bit of light we have at the end of each day now. We move slower to put the older one to bed, most days we drink tea together just her and me, and there are extra cuddles and check-ins.  

After they are both asleep, Ken and I tell stories to each other. Time sprints forward at a terrific speed as I plow through the end of a day and all the small tasks that keep this ship running. Sometimes I also fit in a read, or some writing. Sometimes I get to work out.  We power down, sometimes together, sometimes apart. Always ending up back in the same place that we begin the day, in the cove of our bed, a haven for exhaustion, a fort for sharing stories. 

I'm filled with longing. I am so deeply content.  The depth of exhaustion deepens the gratitude for rest. 

LIFE LATELY

I've been floating around with my head in the clouds these days, everything sort of hazy because of the weekday rushes, change in the pattern of light, and the gloomy descent back into freezing weather. It has given me a certain resolve - in spite of wanting to throw in the towel, bury myself in my bed, and hibernate until the warmer days - to keep plowing ahead. There is much anticipation, even just to tackle the spring cleaning to do list up on our board that I see in the kitchen every time I pass. We are waiting out the cold, doing our best to not get sick, and dreaming. 

We've been to Cava three times now in recent weeks. We don't go out to eat often, but when we do, Cava has been the eatery of choice. The girls have gotten so comfortable there that they now to run to this area to play whenever they are done.



Sloane the other day: "Oh Logan! Did you draw this? Did you draw a picture of a squished spider?" with the most enthusiasm and generosity in her voice as she regarded Logan's scribbles.



We made our own museum the other day by displaying some of her art on a wall. This was my "visit to the museum" where the artist explained each of her pieces. We now have several corners and walls of the house in museum mode.



We have slowly been incorporating more chores for Sloane to do around the house (she fills Rusty's food bowl and water bowl, lines her garbage can with a new garbage bag, and she LOVES washing the floors) and recently, she has gotten really good at folding her laundry and putting it away. We are working on her being able to fold both her and Logan's laundry to put away each week. This is exciting!

This past weekend we went to go watch the play, 'Beauty and the Beast' and all enjoyed it immensely! The morning of the play, Sloane drew this picture in anticipation.

This was the best photo I could manage of some of the kids after the play. Admittedly, it was a strange moment to snap a photo; they had just tumbled out of a magical world of talking candlesticks and dancing napkins and some of those characters were coming out to meet thr kids. There was a buzz of excitement and bewilderment; so maybe this photo is an accurate capture after all.

We put down brown paper for a shrimp broil we had for Ken's birthday dinner and Lola enthusiastically climbed on the table and lay in the middle of the table, as if to offer herself as the main course, very happily too. 

Lola giving her dad one of the bajillion kisses he requests from her throughout the day. 

KEN TURNS 34

It is this guy's birthday today! We celebrated with a shrimp broil last night and today I'm doing things like swooning over pictures of him with my babies and making lists, like reasons why he is a spectacular. As a brand new 34 year old, he is:

Brave: Lola pooped (some huge poops) in the bath the other week while both her and Sloane were in there. Chaos ensued and he came in and calmly scooped out all the poops. This is not the first time he has done this and there is a certain kind of courage that is displayed in such an action. 

Brazen: He is not afraid to say what he thinks, and will speak up for what he believes in.  

Scrupulous: One of the things I find annoying about him is one of the things I admire greatly about him, because I am not that way naturally. He does our taxes, manages most of our bills, and double-checks everything to make sure our house doesn't burn down. In the dark moments I call him anal; on most days I call him my hero. 

Funny: He makes me laugh, a lot. Even (and especially) when I'm trying hard to stay mad at him.

Driven: When he sets a goal, he does everything he can to reach it. The most recent example is the goal he set of competing in his first weightlifting meet this summer. He is working really hard for it and I'm proud of him for putting in the daily work it takes to pull this off. 

Creative: He often protests that he is not this, but he is so creative in the way he thinks outside the box and is quick to make unique connections between ideas. I love having conversations with him because of this kind of mind he has. 

Hungry: Literally, but also these days he is hungry for the Word and also for community and has been finding great satisfaction in both. 

Doting: He adores our children, and adores our friends children. I see how they light him up and fill him with joy. I love meeting him in this sort of exuberance.

Passionate: Specifically, he is passionate about me and our marriage and this is all the more meaningful and precious each year that we are married. 

He bends me, strengthens me, and he can still make ache and swoon. Happy birthday love.