PARENTS AND THEIR CHILDREN

While my parents were here visiting, they told me about this study that was done to compare two different types of parenting. In sum, the study apparently compared a highly regimented parenting style that consisted of a busy schedule with lots of structured activities against a relaxed parenting style without much structured activities but did offer an environment with plenty of books and free play, and behold! The latter won out. They were describing this to me to tell me they were relieved and surprised to learn of these results because my sisters and I grew up in more of the latter type of house. Apparently, my mom had always worried that not being able to offer us consistency throughout our childhood (we moved a lot), or a plethora of activities (either due to lack of funds or my parents being heavily involved with church and studies) would be something that was detrimental to us, but from what I can remember we grew up with tons of free play (this being some of my favorite memories), an immense amount of books (every time we moved, we prioritized our boxes of books), plenty of travel (always on budget which meant we all learned the joys of camping), and family time (where we shared ideas and dreams).  It was encouraging to me to be remember of how much I enjoyed and appreciated my childhood in this context. My job as a parent isn't to drive them from one activity to the next; it has much more to do with raising children who have character, creativity and compassion.

I am so grateful to have my parents around to discuss the joys and trials of parenting. It is a dialogue that is enriched by their experience and my realizations. It is also highly satisfying to be able to ask my parents about what I was like when I was young, and to find out what kinds of things they tried. In the same way, I love being able to ask Ken's mom about what it was like to raise him and his sister and find out similarities and nuances between our own kids and what we were like when we were their age. I don't take access to this sort of information for granted.

(Hey, look at our naked Christmas tree! We finally took the decorations down the other week and just this past weekend the tree came down.)

My mom has recently taken up sketching on a daily basis, and Sloane loved being able to sit beside her and work on her own drawings. I hope this is something my daughters, mom and sisters can all do together as a family in the coming years.

A very sweet moment between my baby and my dad. A kiss on each cheek, and a kiss on the forehead! 

The next series of photos are the girls putting on a show. Or more accurately, Sloane putting on a dance and song performance and Lola trying hard to follow suit.

VISITING MOMA

I love visiting the Museum of Modern Art. There are many amazing museums and galleries in NYC but we always manage to fit in a trip to the MOMA -my dad is a member of some sort and can get us tickets. I always find their exhibitions to be excellent, especially the past few years since they offer free devices for an audio tour for each exhibit. I love walking through the museum with these; you get a sense of history and story behind the pieces as well as a behind the scenes look to how the exhibit was curated. After a really good one, I feel as though I've finished reading a great book or heard an interesting lecture- it invigorates and inspires. 

This post may be boring if you have no interest in modern art, but I want to jot these quick notes down to remember how much I appreciated this trip!

The first exhibit we saw was, "How Should We Live? Propositions for a Modern Interior", which was fascinating 1) because it focused on women architect designers from the 1920-50s and 2) this is something that I think about a lot. The exhibit explored the "complex collaborations, materials, and processes that have shaped the modernist interior, with a focus on specific environments—domestic interiors, re-created exhibition displays, and retail spaces—from the 1920s to the 1950s."

I am a nerd! I love this stuff! 

A chart trying to answer the question of "What is a House?"

The exhibit included a contemporary evocation of Lilly Reich’s 1927 Velvet-Silk Café exhibition in Weimar-era Berlin, where you could sit and drink some (really good) coffee and imagine what it must have been like to experience such an interior during that time. The cafe set up was in front of one of the huge wall to ceiling windows, and this was the view out the window.  Unfortunately, I didn't take a photo of the actual cafe. I was too busy sitting in it and having a conversation with my mom.

We also went to go look at the exhibit called, "From the Collection: 1960-1969", which was a display of works from all of MoMA’s curatorial departments and the Museum Archives. The exhibit was organized by year, so you would walk from one year into the next when you walked into a room and it was really neat to see the changes and developments in mediums and expression throughout that time period. 

The third exhibit we saw was Francis Picabia's "Our heads are round so our thoughts can change direction" and I loved this one. I had never heard of Picabia before but this exhibit displayed the entire gamut of his work, which was incredibly diverse. I was exhilarated by how often he switched styles in an effort to explore, grow, experiment and challenge himself and his contemporaries. He was fearless in trying things and I took a couple of mental and emotional notes from his book.

MOMA's description of the exhibit captures it well: "He vigorously avoided any singular style, and his work encompassed painting, poetry, publishing, performance and film. Though he is best known as one of the leaders of the Dada movement, his career ranged widely—and wildly—from Impressionism to radical abstraction, from Dadaist provocation to pseudo-classicism, and from photo-based realism to art informel. Picabia’s consistent inconsistencies, his appropriative strategies, and his stylistic eclecticism, along with his skeptical attitude, make him especially relevant for contemporary artists, and his career as a whole challenges familiar narratives of the avant-garde.... The exhibition aims to advance the understanding of Picabia’s relentless shape-shifting, and how his persistent questioning of the meaning and purpose of art ensured his iconoclastic legacy’s lasting influence."

HOW TO BE AN ACTIVE ALLY TO IMMIGRANTS AND REFUGEES

A good way to nurse yourself out of shock, heartache and devastation is to start with small actions.

NYC WITH MY PARENTS

I got to be in NYC with my parents this weekend - one of my favorite cities, with two of my favorite people. 

What makes it so fun to hang out with my parents in a place like NYC, besides the fact that we used to live 30 min outside the city and feel surges of nostalgia when we are here together, is that they are curious, adventurous, and are pretty much up for anything.   We arrived late at night and we met up with my sisters and her husband at this great little place called Earl's Beer and Cheese (yes, beer and cheese! And all sorts of grilled cheese sandwiches! ) which seemed to be mostly a college hangout place. We sat next to an older gentleman who was sitting alone, and struck up a conversation with him. He turned out to be a dancer, writer, artist, performer, professor who had lived in NYC for the past 25 years and we had a great time getting to know him. The agenda for the rest of our time there included bagels at the local deli, church at Brooklyn Tabernacle, opera brunch at the Met, some shopping, games and jazz at a game hall, dinner in the east village, and a visit to MOMA. 

I missed the girls and Ken but it was a much needed time with my parents. Without the girls to occupy all of our attention, I could actually make eye contact with my parents and sisters and have in-depth conversations, which we love to do.  Being in the city also inspires me so much and I felt grateful for the time and headspace to wander, brainstorm, and converse. 

*Shoutout to Ken, who did all the things a dad should do to take care of his two kids, but more importantly, did it graciously without complaining and put this mama at ease to enjoy this much needed retreat. 

Bagels at the Bagel Mill! We are a family that loves a good bagel. 

I like a sesame bagel with cream cheese and tomato.

People watching.

We had brunch at the Met with my sister and brother-in-law, who told us about this awesome opportunity to have brunch (with endless Prosecco!) while listening to Met artists perform beautiful opera pieces. I really loved this, and it made me want to seek out some more good opera!

These photos taken in honor of Last Night at the Met!

After some shopping in midtown, we went down to Fat Cat, a bar and game hall with live music. The jazz band performing there was so good!

In between beers and listening to jazz, we played shuffleboard!

After Fat Cat, we went to a late dinner at Huertas, a restaurant serving Basque-influenced tapas and my taste buds were astounded. It was rich and dreamy and delicious.

Some other highlights included Swedish candy from Sockerbit (above), and poke bowls from Sons of Thunder.  I love me a good poke bowl, and this was one of the best I've had.

Next up, our visit to the Museum of Modern Art!