MINI APPLE PIES WITH LITTLE LADIES

Something about the holidays makes me want to take a big bite of butter, followed by a thick slab of bread, and then maybe a pie to round it out. This is totally normal, right? Since we want to plump up to keep warm for winter?

I love baking with Sloane - it gets messy, there is extra prep required, and there is some managing to do - but it's totally worth it to see that concentration and sense of accomplishment on her face. Plus, she's totally getting good at it. I'll have an expert helper in the kitchen in no time.

Earlier in the week I told her that we were going to make small pies with her friend Eden on Friday and she was so excited and looked forward to it all week. These two got through dinner the best they could until we released them to go at it with their rolling pins. Eden is a little ball of energy and joy whose growth and development and charm amazes me each time I see her, and I loved seeing the two bake and play together.

Also, on this night, I tried two new to me drinks: winter wassail from Trader Joe's and Bowman Brothers bourbon.  Both delicious! and warming to the bones.

She's all, " I got it, don't you worry."  There's a lot of "I got it," with toddlers. 

We cut out little circles of dough to put in muffin pans, filled it up with apples tossed in lemon, sugar and flour, and then topped it with a crumble that turned into more of a paste.  We let the girls spread it on top and covered it up with another piece of dough to cover the pies.

They were so into it. 

They were also really into eating the apples. 

After the little pies came out, I was like, "hey! look over here and I'll snap a photo of the finished product!" and then...plop.  It's okay, we brushed it off and ate it anyways.

Logan got caught under the mistletoe! 

Logan didn't get to make any pies but she got to hang out with Robert. 

We ended the night with a couple of books in a cozy heap next to a Christmas tree, with pie and wassail in our bellies: maybe the best way to be!

LOGAN AT FIVE MONTHS

At 5 months, she loves sitting up, tries to roll over and likes to grab anything she can and put it in her mouth. She likes taking in new people, gets entertained by Sloane, tries to play with Sloane.  She communicates with coos and laughs, and lights up when she sees me. She is also enamored with Ken and when he walks into a room, her eyes get shiny and follow him around with a hopeful expression of her face that turns into a huge grin when he looks at her.

There is this phenomenon that happens when Logan is crying, in the middle of the night, as she is oft to do these days. I'm tired as I stumble over to her, but then when I go to check on her and see her instantly light up into a smile when she sees me, it feels like I am meeting her again for the first time, and each time I marvel at the sensation of being refreshed with love for her. Granted, sometimes I am half asleep and I can only do so much marveling, but I still can't help but feel appreciative of a few more cuddles in the middle of the night after having been away from her all day.



We are gearing up for some sleep training (we did it with Sloane around this time, too) and I'm not looking forward to it, but I am looking forward to helping her get unbroken sleep (and me too). I'm of the mind that she understands me and I understand her. She does know how to fall asleep on her own, but needs more practice - once in a while she'll do it like she's a pro, but other times, she needs lots of check-ins and pats and reassurances, over and over again before finally settling in.  She can't tell me so, but I can tell that she knows how much she is loved as I come to peek at her when she is upset. She has certain things that soothe her - the sound of water, pats, songs, vibrations, a pacifier and sometimes she will make a low humming noise to soothe herself down. She has a scream on her, but I've heard her go from a scream to a wail in seconds, so that seems to be a way she settles down too, sometimes. She hasn't given up her middle of the night feeding yet, and I don't think she will for a little while longer, which I am fine with for now.

We also started solids with her this week - some avocado in the beginning and then a couple of days of rice cereal - and she loves it, just as I suspected she would.



Logan is learnings from me that I show her love through hugs, kisses and words, and I can tell that she trusts me. She trusts that I will come back for her.  This rapport we have of learning each other's cues and communicating needs and love to each other is a love story I can't get enough of.  Her babyhood has me head over heels in love -  this baby makes me have more baby fever, and it's unexpected but feels good. It feels right.

I just can't get enough of her rolls. Her cheeks, her chubby hand, the multiple lines in her thighs...it's all too wonderful. 

Does this look like Ken? with cheeks?


p.s. Sloane at 5 months...in the same outfit.

ST. NICHOLAS DAY BOOK EXCHANGE VIDEO

Here's a video of the St. Nicholas Day book exchange I posted about this week. Are you feeling the Christmas spirit yet? Only 14 more days of holidaying left!

ST NICHOLAS DAY

Is there anything better than watching a kid discovering a clemintine and a tin of soft peppermints in their shoes? Nothing.

Well, maybe watching them gobble down ginger cookies while listening to a story about the real St. Nicholas...

or opening a wrapped book pulled out of a Santa bag....

or prancing around in their pajamas with friends...

or seeing them in rapt attention at the reading of the Grinch Who Stole Christmas.

Needless to say, there was much greatness to behold during this gathering of tiny St. Nicholas Day celebrators. We pajama'ed, learned about St. Nicholas, consumed cookies, drank cocoa (glass bottled Cokes, wine and spirits for the adults), exchanged books that the kids brought to share, and discovered treats in their shoes.

Sloane and I have been having lots of conversations about the meaning of Christmas because I'm keen to instill in her the idea that Christmas is for giving - like the real St. Nicholas and like the ultimate Giver - rather than receiving presents.  And she gets it, she really gets it. We've been picking out things of hers to give away and she does it happily, and also gleefully because she loves being able to help wrap the presents. I even suggested that she pick out a stuffed animal of hers to give to Logan as a Christmas present and she offered up Marie. Her beloved Marie, the cat! When I asked her why she would give up her favorite animal, she said simply, "Because  Logan likes it." My momma heart swelled with pride and humility - am I so willing to give away the possessions that I hold most dear?

Let this season be about making more opportunities to demonstrate a joyful and giving heart - for those who are in need, for our family who love us in our daily best and worst, and for our friends who are the net that catch us when we are tumbling down and help buoy us back up  in celebration.

HAVING MYSELF A DELIBERATE LITTLE CHRISTMAS

It's a Monday morning, and I spent the first half of it at work stress eating Butterfinger cups and gummy bears along with my second cup of coffee.  I'm considering a third cup, as I write this. 

I'm eating my feelings because one, I'm sleep deprived and it's making my body crave sugar, but two, I got emotional at Ken about being late to work because of a busy morning and what it boils down to is that my heart aches about not being with my babies today after a weekend together, and that's how it usually is. But this particular weekend, the ache is nestled in a deeper ache. I attended the memorial service of a friend's baby, and I'm aching for my friend, who I know must feel that ache in the inside of her arms, in her blood, all over her heart, all the way down to her toes. 

The service took my breath away. I expected to be heartbroken, but I didn't expect to be so encouraged, to get a glimpse of a gracious God, be put into awe and have my faith fortified. I'm still reeling and I hope it takes me time to process because this ache in my heart - it's good for me. It reminds me to keep my friend in prayer, it reminds me of how amazing it was to see my friend and her husband stand firmly in their faith through it all, and it reminds me not to take anything for granted. 

During these days of meditating on the reason for the season and taking stock of what is going around us, I'm feeling every feeling and holding each of my babies extra tight. They provide warmth during the cold days - that's a real bonus - but they also are a stunning reminder of the message during given the memorial service; that in the face of tragedy, 1) there are secret things of God that we cannot know, 2) that death is not the end, and 3) that our lives are but a mist that is here today and gone tomorrow. 

This past few days, I thought about such things while we got a Christmas tree together, while I gave thanks for Ken's mom and my parents, while I cooked meals for our week, while we reveled amongst the kids during a book exchange, and while we performed our bed time rituals before going to sleep at night. 

Deliberate, is the word for this holiday season for me. I'm thinking hard about the words that I say to Sloane as I explain the mystery and grace of this season and thinking a lot about the traditions and rituals I want our family to have. I want these weeks to go by slow so I can deliberately celebrate and remember such a glorious gift.