IF I HAVE TO PUT UP WITH WINTER LIFE BETTER BE COZY

(if you're wondering, the second picture is what ken does to all his hard boiled eggs)

On Sunday I had read that the following fews would bring about a polar vortex. A polar vortex! It's all so deliciously dramatic. I don't care if the weather channel is full of unbridled hype when it comes to extreme weather - I thought it was too cold a week ago, before any sort of polar vortex - I'm buying it. I'm a wimp when it comes to cold weather; you probably already knew that.

Probably in order to quiet the dread in my heart, I found myself in the midst of a cooking trance that afternoon. It was as if my body kicked into gear in order to get as much comfort food into itself as possible, before my mind was even consulted. I was tired but once I started, I couldn't stop and found myself in some sort of a rhythm.  I made kimchi ramen for lunch (because I had tried on Saturday and had failed; the second time around was more successful), cooked up chunky applesauce, tried my hand at noodles from scratch, roasted two pounds of cauliflower, made creamy chicken and biscuits for dinner in the slow cooker, and then s'mores. All the above also known as….insulation?

The smell of all these things cooking alone was comforting.   But the highlight was when sloane joined me in the kitchen and we danced our hearts out.  I have a feeling that kitchen dancing is going to be one of our favorites. 

Earlier this past weekend my mother in law came up for a visit. She came in time to accompany us to skyrobics at Skyzone.  Ken and I were able to check out what aerobics on a trampoline is like (..SO FUN!) while my MIL and Sloane watched us, along with our friends Caroline and Chris, jump around and get real sweaty.

We spent the rest of the day running errands together and in the evening, my MIL and I had a lovely chat together while cooking dinner. On Sunday morning, we all stopped by Stir Crazy cafe for coffee and breakfast before church. Let it be said, I feel fortunate to have a sweet and loving mother-in-law in my life. 

And then it was Monday.  Even when the weekends are sweet,  it only takes a certain kind of Monday.  I came home feeling petulant and one of the first things I did when I walked in the door with Sloane was to make myself a s'more in the microwave and ate it standing at the counter, while Sloane munched on a sweet potato circle that I handed her from the fridge.  We looked at each other, me worn out from the day, Sloane full of expectations about her time with me.  Her sweetness melted down my bumpy hide and the two of us spent the next hour or so dancing, jabbering, cooking, and eating our dinner together on the floor. 

January is my least favorite month; February is no walk in the park either. Yet, here we are.  I only allowed myself to wallow in this depressing thought for a few moments today and decided that I will give myself some goals to attain this month, and maybe carry this on through the rest of the winter months, in order to propel myself forward and onward. You know, kind of like new years resolutions? But not for the year, just the month. And not resolutions, goals.  Or 'coping mechanisms'. 

So, for January: 

1. read three books, for pleasure

2. have a budget meeting with ken about our upcoming year

3. try at least one recipe in my new slow cooker (thanks dad!) each week - this week so far, i made chicken and biscuits, and tomorrow i'm trying a slow cooker beef stew. 

4. learn five new words and use them on this blog. 

5. re-organize Sloane's room

There! Polar vortex, who? Oh sorry, I was too busy reading my book and eating beef stew. 

FROM THE IPHONE ARCHIVES

Oh feel free to march past all these words and go on straight to the picture portion of this post. I'm just writing because that's what I do; can't guarantee that any of this will be interesting. 

Think random smatter.

Mayhaps the post holiday doldrums are just now hitting me. The past few weeks were wonderful. And now it's time to get back to the tick tock of the regular life. And it feels that I need a boost to get my seat out of the holiday chair. A catapult seems appropriate and necessary here.

I'm realizing that whenever i fantasize about relaxation, and I'm sure I've said that many times before here, one of my most popular fantasies involve copious amounts of uninterrupted reading time.

I have been truly enjoying reading other people's New Years resolutions. I didn't use to, but I'm lapping it up. It's a good reminder that we are ALL on a journey to becoming our better selves.

I'm also really enjoying spending time with best of 2013 music lists. 

Especially this one, this one and this one. 

Some words that I looked up recently: Paly, dithyramb, dacha

Yesterday was Sloane's first day back at daycare in a while and when she first walked in, she was so pleased to be there and gave a hug to the first kid she saw.  When I came back to pick her up, she came running and gave me a big grin and I had to stop for a second. Who IS this giant kid?!

Speaking of giant kids.

That's how we rang in the new year.  

Sloane loves dancing!!! 

That's my sister, do we look alike? And that's my baby, we probably act alike.

oh and this happened.  

my friends caroline and chris hosted a lovely dinner the other weekend, and sloane met up with one of her first friends (from daycare).  they just up and held hands to run around the house together, as if it were the most natural thing in the world…it's hard to bear, i know.

And some other photos from last week, because my phone's photo library is bursting at the seams:

my sister sharon and her fellow, before our first day of tennis

sloane, inevitably dubbed 'baby clause', in one of her xmas presents

my mama and my baby

that sky was so beautiful that it almost made music

kimchi stew and ramen for lunch, courtesy of mom

eggnog cinnamon rolls that didn't quite do what they were supposed to. but they did enough.

dark and stormies. won't stop.

it was amazing to have so many meals together

sloane and monty connecting

champagne for our last night together

a delicious breakfast of fruit and french toast for our last morning

HAPPY FIRST WEEKEND OF 2014!! 

make it a good one, eh?

2013 WINTER FAMILY RETREAT - PART III - BEACH SIDE // AND THOUGHTS ON THE NEW YEAR

We were having a sort of haphazard last conversation before my parents left for the airport yesterday morning. We were talking about such things like what the new year might look like, child-rearing, empty nest syndrome and feeling purposeful. My dad said words that gave me a boost of confidence and more of the motivation I need to plan for certain things next year. But what I want to talk about there is what my mom then shared. During my high school years, we lived apart from my dad who lived in Korea for his job and my mom raised us three girls, along with a part-time job that required full-time hours, while also being a full-time student to get two masters degrees and a Ph.D. I always had admired my mom for the willpower and strength it took for her to get through all that education with such a busy life. But yesterday my mom shared that she doesn't know if she could have done any of that if she wasn't a mother. She said that being a mother gave her the extra motivation and strength that she needed in order to keep moving and striving. She said that at times she would wonder if she could have done one or the other better if she didn't have such a full plate, but the fact of the matter was, being a mother kept her tank filled. 

I am chewing on two things here. One, we have no idea where the paths we take now will lead us. We can imagine, plan and hope, even sometimes despair, but ultimately we do not know what tomorrow or next year will bring. That used to rile up in me frustration, but now it garners peace….and excitement.  Two, I know this to be true from my very short experience, but having it come from someone with so much more experience punched it up for me. There is sacrifice required to being a mother, but it also brings a sort of superpower. I've talked about this before, but it's the kind of reminder that I need to carry with me into the new year as I ponder new paths and opportunities. Motherhood brings so much change, but I like the idea that being a mother doesn't limit your options - dare I say, it gives you extra courage to go after even more options. 

I've been thinking back on 2013, and Ken and I have been talking about our hopes for 2014.  I recently heard Zora Neale Hurston quoted from her book, Their Eyes Were Watching God,  with the sentence, "There are years that ask questions, and there are years that answer." I don't think the years of my life fall into as neat a category all the time, but it has been helpful for me to think about the past two years of my life in this way.  I was pregnant for most of 2012, and that was also when we bought a house, and Ken changed jobs. It was a momentous year, but it was a year of questions for me - am I ready to settle down? Can we handle being homeowners? Will we be okay financially? And most importantly, am I okay/ready to be a mother?  2013 felt like the answer, and the answer was a resounding and steadfast, YES.  Yes, we can handle being homeowners, and we enjoyed hosting and opening up our home to friends and family. Yes, we will be okay financially, because we will plan, budget, and communicate.  And Yes, I am more than okay being Sloane's mother.  When I think back to 2013, I see it as a year of embracing my new role as a mother and having constant epiphanies about what life with a daughter is like. It was a wonderful year. 

Along these lines, this upcoming year feels like another year of questions and I am in a state of great anticipation. If the past few years is any indication, it's a good place to be in. 

You know what helps in navigating this drama of questions and answers? My family and friends - I am so built up, challenged and overjoyed to have you all in my life. 

And yea that's right, I brought it back to more photos of our trip from last week. On our second to last day there, we walked across the street to the pristine beach to take some family photos. I treasure these.