sad story

it is so tragic!
that both of montreal and conor oberst are coming into town,
and i can't make it to the shows.
tragic!

balancing beam

the older that i get, the more often i have the "what is the point?" moments, and the response to this question always has to do something with the ability to balance.

i suppose this is what keeps me in the game.

but to remember: balance must not be confused with mediocrity.

i love public radio.

i love national public radio.

i <3 banksy.

pie in the sky

what a lovely photo
i didn't take this photo.
i haven't developed any pictures from my smena 8m, but i will soon.
i wish i had a dark room.

i am in a werid funk b/c i want to sleep all the time.
the first month of this semester was easy breezy;
and now its still breezy
but a slow breeze.
uh oh. i am starting to feel antsy again.

the best thing about my day recently
is eating the delicious apples that we picked
from a real-life apple orchard this past weekend.
they are so so delicious.
i eat 4-5 apples a day.
i will probably turn into an apple.

oh! also, yesterday
we went to the landmark theatre
to see david sedaris.
if i were to have a crush on a gay man,
it would be probably be him.

i wish i was taller

i did it.
i bought shiny black tights.
imagine my surprise when i put them on and found them to be uber comfy.
the possibilities are endless.
let's see what i can do with this bad boy.

you know what would really help though...if i was taller.

things i'm interested in right now:
1) "northern songs" album of canadian musicians/bands compiled by starbucks
2) yashica TRL 124G
3) stewie, from family guy

mental health day

I took a mental health day today. Meaning, i did a little of everything. Or a little bit of nothing; however you want to put it. I needed some cave-time. This means I watched a lot of pointless tv, pulled out my guitar to play, did some research (not enough), drank fresca, scoured the internet, made cookies, and did some slow work on my essays.

Also! It was truly exciting when my Smena 8M camera came. I love the little pouch it came in. The Russsian manual wasn't too exciting though because I couldn't understand a lick of it. So i had to look up some sort of English version and fool around with the functions. I left the apartment to take a walk around the neighborhood to try out the new camera (and pick up some chinese take-out), and was pleased at the wonderful weather which provided good shadows and sun rays. Yay. We'll see how this first film turns out.

1) i emailed the worthless booksellers who still haven't responded btw about giving me a refund on their regengade textbooks. (argh!) And i also shamelessly watched gossip girls.

2) Even though it is time-consuming and frustrating at times, I love writing. I would give my left pinky toe to be a writer for the NYtimes.

3) I really hope I feel better about facing the real world tomorrow because I have a lot to do. The feeling right now though is that I could do this cave woman thing all week.

things about modern techonology that i really appreciate

1. Trash disposal in my kitchen sink
2. Clorox wipes
3. Google
4. Youtube
5. Toliet

in vogue?

read here

albums i love a lot these days

"Open Season", Feist
"Conan Oberst", Conan Oberst
"Late Night Tales", Belle & Sebstian
"Re-Arrange Us", Mates of State
"One Cell in the Sea", A Fine Frenzy

serpent and doves

I usually have a hard time listening or watching to political candidates make their speeches because it always seems to reek with condescending hypocrisy and overly-prepared sincerity. I prefer to get my fix from news commentaries or get the quick summaries on the speeches to get the gist of what was said, mostly to avoid the drama altogether. I guess that's indicative of how cynical i've gotten about change, and i've started noticing it more recently.

The other day, I was listening to NPR's segment which went through an archive of the speeches of past Vice Presidents, and one of the more memorable ones was by Truman's VP, Barkley. I couldnt' help but compare the differences between the present and past era; maybe it was the quality of the scratchy recording or the way that NPR spins these things, but I was genuinely touched by the sincerity of tone and most notably, the hope, of this particular pseech. The man sounded like he really believed in what he's saying for a better tomorrow. The contrast was even more evident because in the present day, my worldview is tainted by a veil of doubt about the sincerity of anyone, particularly politicians.

This morning, with Barkley's speech in mind, I read the transcripts of Biden and Bill Clinton's speeches for the DNC, and although initially I grimaced through a lot of the shiny veneer, reading instead of listening to the speeches helped me to read between the lines, and I found it refreshing. Ultimately, I couldn't help but appreciate the collection of arguments that they had prepared for why Obama should be the next president. Most of these arguments revovle around hope, banking on the fact that people want change and more importantly, want to believe in change. I am really not one to make character judgments and say whether someone is insincere, but that kind of judgment call matters much less than the actual initiative for change. The important thing to notice here is that there is discussion of any kind of hope at all.

It's not as if I've lived too many years as a cynic but I feel as if maybe I should actively work on developing my world-view with a grain of sugar, as well as salt. Cynicism comes about as a reaction, and maybe a necessary one, but I haven't noticed any positive effects or fruits from doubting and second-guessing everything. The natural consequence of apathy is more apathy and ultimately, the apathetic person loses out. It takes an extra effort to use discernment and make a conscious choice to be a person who actively hopes, but the change (and the process of change) is worth the effort. Obviously I'm not advocating ignorance or hippie love, but I am saying that the adage, "wise as serpents and innocent as doves" makes a lot of sense as a foundation for developing an outlook on the world. If this serpent and dove thing is managed with a sense of balance, faith, and sense of humor, this whole growing up thing might not be so bad.

Tuesday brunch with the sisters

<3

f-bomb to mean people

boo to all mean and unhappy people who are too lazy to make any sort of effort beyond their tiny-brained world

martha cooper

countdown: two days

gah i feel like a crazy person.!
my room looks like an homage to the crazy gods!

it always seems to happen that i have the most brilliant ideas and zings of creativity in the moments right before a pending exam or deadline. Its not too effective for time management, but it does somehow work itself out in an unexpected balance of inspiration and stability.

i love woostercollective!

a philosophy of photography

By taking a picture, the photographer usually does so with the intention of showing and telling.
In this way, the photo taker is selfish, taking what she wants.

I probably take pictures to remember; its bonkers to experience all the feelings and memories an old picture can evoke.

But also: truly living a life is done BEST when life is appreciated, mostly accomplished through the heightened awareness of one's presence and reaction to everything that comes. By taking a picture and showing it, my telling is that of holding still a moment in time to allow the viewer some objectivity to take a step back and recognize it as a meaningful slice of life. And by way of the viewer reacting to that moment in life, the hope is that she can better engage in appreciation of living a life.