LOIS TURNS 21

I spent this entire weekend wishing that it would stop raining, to absolutely no avail. But it didn't matter all that much because we were too busy celebrating a birthday, and a 21st birthday at that! Sure, a night out on the town got replaced by a couch viewing of Wreck it Ralph, but no one minded at all, and come on, have you seen this Wreck it Ralph movie? It had us laughing with the sheer glee of all its creativity while we stuffed ourselves with chocolate cake and sparkling wine. It was pretty darn fun. 

If I ever get in the mood to complain about my lot in life, I always do an about face when I remember the wonderful ladies that I know...including my cousin, Lois, who is turning a smart 21 years old today. A lady with depth of soul and empathy like the ocean, wonderful humor and an amazing set of dance moves. 

MAYMONT PARK

So it's gotten to the point now that we are all living a little bit like urchins in our caves, trying to stay warm and survive the winter, and then when there is any sign of sun or warmth, we scuttle out to get whatever we can get before we scurrying back into our respective caves again. I paint a grim picture but that's how I'm feeling about the fact that it's the last week of March and it was snowing when I walked out the door this morning.

Let's - for the duration of however long it takes to scroll through a post - pretend that it became spring and stayed spring! Saturday was grey and overcast but it was warm and breezy and all of that gave us a really pleasant backdrop for a stroll through the park with the babes. We scooped as much fresh air and warm breeze as we could stuff into our buckets. We savored the stillness of the air. I daydreamed about the hot,  sticky days to come.

WORKING IT OUT WITH TYCHO

It has been a very busy couple of weeks over here and continue to be, so I can't quite post the way I want to, but I thought I'd share a piece of ebb and flow. Part of what makes everything feel extra packed is all of the new responsibilities that I have at work - I'm trying to keep the stress at bay and manage the workload as I go, accepting the steep learning curve, putting my head down and putting in the legwork, and all that. Tycho's new album, Awake, has been the best music to listen to while I'm at work and really need to focus. Through the miracle of the internet, you can listen to the whole thing up there, but I recommend you put in the $9.99 to buy it, avoid the ads, support the artist and then label it "work music". I promise it will put you in the zone to get some serious work done.

INSPIRED BY LATELY

Here are some of my favorite pins as of late that are inspiring me:

Super bowls!

Stella McCartney Kids: Adorable bunny butts and a really fun swimsuit

Colors to inspire me for spring via Calmcalmcalm

Daydreaming about light and indoor plants

This instantly makes me nostalgic for those certain types of summer days

This print really truly resonates with me right now.  And I love the design on these matchboxes!

Raw chocolate pie, it's going to happen.

EVEN WHEN I'M MOVING SLOWLY I HAVE WORDS TO SQUEEZE OUT

Listen, I was terribly tired this week. Time was not on my side and that always feels unfair, even if we all know that time is one of the most fair distributions of things that ever was and can be. It's frightfully relative in its perception. The slipping away of time can raise feelings of despair and crankiness in you like you wouldn't believe. If you've been there you know what I mean when I describe that slightly bewildered feeling that you get when you pass by a mirror and get a glimpse and think. 'Wait, who is that?'.... is that what I look like right now?' And no amount of fixing will do. You take a deep breath, and just keep going, sludging along the best you can.

I can pretend to be 100% chipper, but I am what I am, and what I am is still tired. So I'm 80% chipper and 20% in the depths of despair. I'm a little bit in the fog, and this is what winter is like for me, but now with an extra layer of can-a-girl-get-some-sleep. There are hours in the day when I feel wholly unlike myself. 

Most of that to say, my main goal for this past weekend was to try to sleep as early as possible. I got my bod into the bed at 9:30 on Friday night but my crazy brain WOULD NOT SHUT DOWN when I needed it to.  The next night was no better and the baby felt a tortured need to climb into bed with me at 3AM and press down every part of my face with her fingers. 

We had a couple of visitors while Ken was away this past weekend. We breakfasted with one of them, had a relaxing afternoon with another, and then had some lady time just me and my baby at the mall. 

Sloane surprised me several times this past weekend. One of these times was after her bath on Friday night. She went around to all the rooms on the second floor, to pull each door shut, one by one.  Her method is as such: she pulls the door to as close to the frame as possible, and then gets up on the tippest of her toes to grab the underbelly of the doorknob and pull it until it clicks shut. 

Another one of these moments was when we were at the mall. I meant to pop into one store for just one quick thing, but it was a blessed sunny day and Sloane was so into perusing the items that we made an afternoon out of it. This little girl of mine is FULL of opinions.  My eyes got wider and wider as she would say "yes" this and no" that to colors and items of clothing, and Sloane do you remember the time when you were convinced that a yellow shirt, and only a yellow one, would do?? 

Oh the conversations we have. It's a skill, and a privilege, talking artfully to a one and a half year old.  And why is it so fun siting in a mall food court with my one and a half year old, munching on chicken and fruit, people-watching together? 

I'm clenching these moments in my hands, to give it a good hard squeeze, as if it was a sponge or those hand exercise ball thingies. I know they won't last. It's as simple as that. 

You know what's funny? I sometimes catch myself calling Sloane, "Eunice", my baby sister's name.  Eunice is not a baby anymore, she is one of my best friends, but that older sister thing, it's built in real deep, you know? 

If you are a thrillseeker and are used to the high and lows, then parenting a toddler might be right up your alley. Just a different kind of alley. There are moments of euphoria when you don't think anything could be better and then they're our moments of absolute exhaustion. There's also the element of unpredictability and surprise so you never really know what's going to happen - which can be a good thing if you are an adventurer or a terrible thing if you are a planner.  I feel glad to be a little bit of both.

This post was meant to be a recap of a weekend, but it's a little bit all over the place, and you'll forgive me if you made it to the end. One last thing. I'm still (slowly) marching through Gilead, a few pages here and there whenever I can steal a moment alone.  I read this passage in it the other day and clutched the book to my heart, "True Love!" I sighed: 

"Last time she brought back a copy of The Trail of the Lonesome Pine that was worn ragged, all held together with tape. She just sank into it, though, she just melted into it. And I made scrambled eggs and toasted cheese sandwiches for our supper so she wouldn't have to put the book down."

AIN'T THAT THE TRUTH!

I saw this illustration by Sarah Lazarovic on Cup of Jo the other day and felt that thrill of belonging. You know, of belonging to a group of people so big that it includes people who would illustrate a pie graph version of how it feels to be in the middle of this winter, or in the middle of winter in general. It's still unnerving to be in what appears to be the fifth month of winter, but I will take a small measure of comfort in things like this. If you see me this week and wonder why my face looks the way it does- it's the brave face that I put on for this week. 

WALKING AND TALKING

i'm pretty sure that everyone's lives would be made that much better if they had sisters like mine. Also, I am of the persuasion that my own life would be made more spectacular if my sisters and I lived near one another, but I'll take what I can get in the meanwhile.

This time's get was talking and walking around. Talking and walking, and then sitting and eating, is largely therapeutic if it's with the right people, you know. 

Eating wise, we squeezed in Mediterranean fare, including a really good tabbouleh, Russian tea and cakes, fish stew with a spicy salad, and a makeshift ramen bowl.

It is such a marvelous thing to be known and to know. And beyond that that, to know and be known while you grow and change. Because we are all heavily in that right now, aren't we? I'm a 30 year old who is extremely busy with the business of growing up. 

I'm finally making my way through Marilyn Robinson's 'Gilead' and I'll leave you with this sentence that jumped out at me the other day: "Existence seems to me now the most remarkable thing that could ever be imagined."

I LOVE THE EXTRA DAYLIGHT BUT BABIES ARE CONFUSED

I had a much needed couple of days away with my sisters last weekend. We missed our cousin Lois who was also supposed to join us but we near made it up with an epic google hangout that spanned Seoul, Atlanta, Peru, Toyko and DC. Like we do. More on the weekend later, but I thought I'd sneak peek a couple of sweet spots that I sucked up in my phone. As soon as I got there we had some face time action with our mom who relayed to us details of her jaunt through eastern Europe and the Mediterranean last month and my sister described a little bit of being in Paris last week while we snacked on blood oranges and paprika crackers, all washed down with hot coffee. Later that afternoon we stopped by the cutest Russian restaurant, Mari Vanna, for tea, cocktails and honey cake. Even though I can't travel right now, I sure am getting enough whiffs of it in these types of doses to tend to my wanderlust.

Ken and Sloane were visiting her grandma the same weekend and after the first morning back when she was extremely clingy, Ken hypothesized that she must have missed me terribly but then when I dropped her off at daycare yesterday morning she excitedly ran off to play with her friends with barely a distracted goodbye and i suspect there is something else going on.  Just in the past few days, she all of sudden doesn't want to go to bed, woke up at 3:30 AM to hang out, then wants to hang around my neck like a monkey all morning while I'm trying to get ready and didn't eat a single bit of dinner last night. All normal things I'm sure, especially  at this age, but I'm looking for a secondary culprit because it is wearing on the routine that we have going and on me too, especially since it is coinciding with an extremely busy week. Can I attribute some of this to daylight savings? it's a thing apparently. Babies too are like, wait, why the heck are we doing this daylight savings thing anyway? 

I find myself thinking several times during the week that if I'm asked the question of what super power I would want, I would readily answer that I would want the ability to stop time. Time, these days, is the most precious of treasures.

MY BODY IS TIRED BUT MY SPIRIT IS HIGH

 I took this shot of Monument Avenue last week after it snowed and couldn't help imagining that all these houses looked like they were feeling a little uptight and tired of the cold weather, too. But with daylight savings, things are looking up! That extra daylight, warmer days like this past weekend, and being able to hang out with my sisters are keeping my spirit high.

...as are these things: 


1. Currently listening to Haim's album

2. I started a bullet journal last week, and I am LOVING it.

3. 10 Creative Rituals You Should Steal

4.  I want to try this Ikea hack

5. A really great piece of investigative journalism. 

6. A fascinating documentary about income inequality in America. 

7. An essay about how Tolstoy blasted Shakespeare by George Orwell for the literary nerds.

8. Beautiful photos by Alain Laboile documenting his children.